Internet, Porn and cybersex addictions

The Internet is a wonderful tool for communication. However, it can become an escape from reality that has the appearance of safety, intimacy and anonymity. Use of the Internet for games, gambling, messages, porn or cybersex can become as addictive as any other activity

What is Internet or Computer Addiction?

• A student has difficulty getting his/her homework done because computer games occupy all after-school time.
• Someone connects to the Internet at 9:00pm and suddenly discovers it is dawn and he/she has not left the computer.
• A wife is distraught because her husband has replaced their sexual relationship with Internet porn and online sex.

Searching for information, skimming news headlines, downloading your favorite songs, or placing bids on eBay … the options are endless. We all enjoy the benefits of the Internet. But at what point does frequent online activity become too frequent and become a source of significant problems in someone’s life? Internet addiction is generally defined as spending so much time online that Internet use adversely affects marriages, family and social life, work, and psychological and physical well-being.

Signs and symptoms of Internet or Computer Addiction

As with any other addiction, a computer addict is likely to have several of the experiences and feelings on the list below. How many of them describe you or someone close to you?

• Have mixed feelings of well-being and guilt while at the computer.
• Lose control of time while on the computer; want to quit or cut down, but are unable to.
• Neglect friends, family and/or responsibilities in order to be online.
• Lie to your boss and family about the amount of time spent on the computer and what you do while on it.
• Feel anxious, depressed, or irritable when your computer time is shortened or interrupted.
• Use the computer repeatedly as an outlet when sad, upset, or for sexual gratification.
• Develop problems in school or on the job as a result of the time spent and the type of activities accessed on the computer.
• Have financial problems due to on-line purchases or gambling.
• Become tempted to get involved in relationships with strangers, which may put you at risk for victimization or jeopardize your safety.

Health effects associated with computer addiction

Being addicted to the computer also can cause physical discomfort or medical problems:

• Carpal Tunnel syndrome (pain, numbness, and burning in your hands that can radiate up the wrists, elbows, and shoulders)
• Dry eyes
• Backaches
• Severe headaches
• Eating irregularities, such as skipping meals
• Failure to attend to personal hygiene
• Sleep disturbances

Who is most at risk for internet addiction?

Internet addiction affects people of varying ages, cultural backgrounds, occupations, and educational levels. The following problems are likely triggers for internet addiction:

Triggers for Internet Addiction
Substance Abuse	Mental Illness	Relationship Troubles
Over half of Internet addicts suffer from other addictions, mainly to drugs, alcohol, smoking, and sex.	Trends show that Internet addicts suffer from emotional problems such as depression and anxiety-related disorders and often use the fantasy world of the Internet to psychologically escape unpleasant feelings or stressful situations.	In almost 75% of cases, Internet addicts use applications such as chat rooms, instant messaging, or online gaming as a safe way of establishing new relationships and more confidently relating to others.

Breaking addiction to the Internet

The first step is recognizing that there is a problem.

Overcoming denial should be followed by other treatment steps, including:

• Identifying specific problem areas
• Generating a behavior modification plan, such as setting a timer for usage, planning a daily schedule, keeping a log of moods when going online, matching time spent online with time spent socializing face-to-face and taking part in non-computer related activities
• Focusing on other areas for needed skill enhancement, such as problem solving, assertiveness, social skills, overcoming shyness, anger control
• Assessing for other disorders like depression or anxiety that may need medical treatment.
• Assistance in locating or forming a support group for other people who are trying to regain control over their computer use.

If you suspect you are addicted to the Web, consult a therapist in your area, preferably one who specializes in addiction.

• Consider taking a technology holiday
• Find other interests
• Exercise
• Watch less television
• Talk to your friends and family about what is happening in your life
• Try counseling or psychotherapy to assist you in dealing with the addictive behavior
• Consider a support group
• Develop new relationships and friendships
• Talk to others about your overuse of the Internet
• Shorten your Internet sessions

For a full text of these suggestions see Ten Steps to Reclaim Real-Time Living

How can I help computer-obsessed friends?

• Be a good role model. Manage the computer use in your own life well
• Introduce them to some other people who are fun, interesting, and who handle their computer use sensibly.
• Get them involved in some non-computer related fun.
• Support their desire for change if they think they have a problem.
• Encourage them to seek professional counseling.

What are some tips for parents dealing with Internet addiction?

If your child shows signs of Internet addiction, there are many things that you as a parent can do to help. See the table below for tips on dealing with the problem:

Helping a Child with Internet Addiction
Encourage other interests	Get your child out from behind the computer screen. Expose kids to other hobbies and activities, including sports, music, art, and educational or cultural pastimes. Take your kid to a ball game or a play, sign up for swimming lessons or a ceramics class, visit your local library or a museum.
Encourage social activities	Excessive computer use can be isolating. Help your child reconnect with other children and make new friends. Options include team sports, the Boy or Girl Scouts, and afterschool clubs.
Set clear limits and rules	Establish rules about when and for how long your child can surf online. Limit the amount of Internet time your child is allowed each day, and restrict Internet use until homework and chores are done.
Monitor computer use	Make sure the computer is in a common area of the house where you can keep an eye on your child's online activity. While personal supervision is essential, parental control software can be a useful supplementary tool.
Be a good role model	Your child looks to you as an example. Make sure your own computer use is not out of control. It will be difficult to enforce Internet rules if your child sees you breaking them.
Seek professional counseling	If your child has an Internet addiction, it may indicate a deeper problem such as anxiety or depression. If symptoms are severe or you're concerned about your child's emotional state, schedule an appointment with a mental health professional.

Internet Pornography and Cybersex

What strategies do online porn sites use to trap and hold viewers?

While offensive and distasteful to many users, most Internet porn is not illegal. Countries have different cultural standards and legislation regarding sexual material, and content that is banned in one jurisdiction may be easily accessible on servers in another.

For parents, one of the most disturbing aspects of the Internet is the easy access it gives kids to porn. Hard-core sexual images, which were once very difficult to acquire, are now just a mouse click away. Teens, particularly adolescent males, have always been driven by natural curiosity to seek out pornography. This hasn't changed. What's different is the easy access the Internet gives kids to deviant or violent sexual content, which may have an influence on their developing attitudes towards sexuality and relationships.
The online porn industry uses many strategies to promote use of their sites, including:

• Pop-up windows: trap users in an endless loop of porn.
• Home page hijacking: (planting a Java script command on computers to change the user's default home page to a porn site). Changing the home page back to its original setting appears to solve the problem until the computer is rebooted; then the offensive site re-appears as the home page.
• Stealth sites: a variety of techniques, including buying up expired domain names, exploiting common misspellings, or using well-known names of companies or artists.
• Hidden key words that are picked up by search engines: Porn operators bury key words, including brand names of popular toys or names of pop artists, in the code of their Web sites to lead children and teens to their sites.

What are some tips for dealing with online pornography?

For children and teens:

There are many steps you can take to safeguard your children and teenagers from pornography on the Internet. First, your family should establish rules regarding Internet use. It can be helpful to create an online agreement.

It is also important to discuss the dangers of pornography with your children and teenagers. They should be warned about sexual predators and taught how to protect themselves from exploitation. parents are recommended to teach their children the following safety rules:

• Never arrange a face-to-face meeting with someone you meet online.
• Never upload pictures of yourself onto the Internet to people you don't personally know.
• Never give out identifying information such as your name, home address, school name, or telephone number.
• Never download pictures from an unknown source, as there is a good chance there could be sexually explicit images.
• Never respond to messages or bulletin board postings that are suggestive, obscene, belligerent, or harassing.
• Whatever you are told online may or may not be true.

For adults:

Pornography becomes an obsessive relationship with fantasy objects. Because real people cannot compete with fantasy, pornography ultimately interferes with—and may even replace—genuine relationships. Cybersex involves online chat rooms and online sexual encounters, and generally includes several aspects of pornography.

Two online questionnaires can help you more objectively assess your addiction to internet porn or to cybersex:

• Porn Addiction Questionnaire (from Self Help: Overcoming Pornography Addiction)
• Cybersex Addiction Questionnaire (Rob Weiss, M.A., from the Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health)

Once you have broken through your denial about your addiction, you will need help in overcoming the addiction, and in developing healthier patterns of relating to the “real” people in your life. Many useful suggestions for overcoming Internet addiction, as well as internet porn and cybersex addictions, can be found on college counseling sites, such as Texas State