Saturday, June 28, 2008

Kashmir boils....after 1989

This refers to the condition our state has landed into. I can’t imagine a total bandh for five days at a stretch. The streets buzzing with, "Hum kya chatai Azadi" ,"Kashmir humara hai"...We want FREEDOM...n all the genuine anger of kashmiris. This has been for the first time since my 16 years of experience; a mass movement has taken place involving a kid, women apart from men. We all hereby appeal the government to decide against the land transfer else we kashmiris won’t spare them. It’s hilarious to see that the govt deciding a transfer of 800 kanals land not a joke, to SASB when they themselves are against deforestation. It was the the govt only who used to advice people to grow trees, avoid deforestation, wood smugglings and all that. Just a month before the whole newspaper carried the issue and now how can they do this? How can they violate the law?
When we are hindered to own a piece of land in some other state then how dare they are trying to sell our homeland to the unknowns. I request the jammu people to think over it and then react. We are not against yatri but just fighting for our right, our land and our own jannat. The anger is on rise and its better to solve it as soon as possible before its too late .The ministers should have a bit of sense what their shit decision is going to fetch them but Alas!!! Who cares?
We want govt to take the decision before it’s too late, “Jahan ek ki jaan gayi vahan hazar hi sahi”, par hum pechai nai hatai gai. That is the spirit kashmiris are marching with-city to city, street to street. We are one wherever we are.So save kashmir let us unite for the purpose.Kashmir humara hai humara hai.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

BENAZIR BHUTTO -what a tragic end she had

Benazir Bhutto followed her father into politics, and both of them died because of it - he was executed in 1979, she fell victim to an apparent suicide bomb attack.

Her two brothers also suffered violent deaths.

Like the Nehru-Gandhi family in India, the Bhuttos of Pakistan are one of the world's most famous political dynasties. Benazir's father, Zulfikar Ali Bhutto, was prime minister of Pakistan in the early 1970s.

His government was one of the few in the 30 years following independence that was not run by the army.

Born in 1953 in the province of Sindh and educated at Harvard and Oxford, Ms Bhutto gained credibility from her father's high profile, even though she was a reluctant convert to politics.

She was twice prime minister of Pakistan, from 1988 to 1990, and from 1993 to 1996.


On both occasions she was dismissed from office by the president for alleged corruption.

The dismissals typified her volatile political career, which was characterised by numerous peaks and troughs. At the height of her popularity - shortly after her first election - she was one of the most high-profile women leaders in the world.

Young and glamorous, she successfully portrayed herself as a refreshing contrast to the overwhelmingly male-dominated political establishment.

But after her second fall from power, her name came to be seen by some as synonymous with corruption and bad governance.

Asif Zardari going to court
Asif Zardari has faced numerous corruption charges

The determination and stubbornness for which Ms Bhutto was renowned was first seen after her father was imprisoned by Gen Zia ul-Haq in 1977, following a military coup. Two years later he was executed after a much criticised trial on charges of conspiring to murder a political opponent.

Ms Bhutto was imprisoned just before her father's death and spent most of her five-year jail term in solitary confinement. She described the conditions as extremely hard.

During stints out of prison for medical treatment, Ms Bhutto set up a Pakistan People's Party office in London, and began a campaign against General Zia.

She returned to Pakistan in 1986, attracting huge crowds to political rallies.

After Gen Zia died in an explosion on board his aircraft in 1988, she became one of the first democratically elected female prime ministers in an Islamic country.

Corruption charges

During both her stints in power, the role of Ms Bhutto's husband, Asif Zardari, proved highly controversial.

He played a prominent role in both her administrations, and has been accused by various Pakistani governments of stealing millions of dollars from state coffers - charges he denies, as did Ms Bhutto herself.

Many commentators argued that the downfall of Ms Bhutto's government was accelerated by the alleged greed of her husband.

None of about 18 corruption and criminal cases against Mr Zardari has been proved in court after 10 years. But he served at least eight years in jail.

He was freed on bail in 2004, amid accusations that the charges against him were weak and going nowhere.

Ms Bhutto also steadfastly denied all the corruption charges against her, which she said were politically motivated.

She faced corruption charges in at least five cases, all without a conviction, until amnestied in October 2007.

General Musharraf
President Pervez Musharraf granted Ms Bhutto and others an amnesty

She was convicted in 1999 for failing to appear in court, but the Supreme Court later overturned that judgement.

Soon after the conviction, audiotapes of conversations between the judge and some top aides of then Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif were discovered that showed that the judge had been under pressure to convict.

Ms Bhutto left Pakistan in 1999 to live abroad, but questions about her and her husband's wealth continued to dog her.

She appealed against a conviction in the Swiss courts for money-laundering.

During her years outside Pakistan, Ms Bhutto lived with her three children in Dubai, where she was joined by her husband after he was freed in 2004.

She was a regular visitor to Western capitals, delivering lectures at universities and think-tanks and meeting government officials.

Army mistrust

Ms Bhutto returned to Pakistan on 18 October 2007 after President Musharraf signed into law an ordinance granting her and others an amnesty from corruption charges.

Observers said the military regime saw her as a natural ally in its efforts to isolate religious forces and their surrogate militants.

She declined a government offer to let her party head the national government after the 2002 elections, in which the party received the largest number of votes.

In the months before her death, she had emerged again as a strong contender for power.

Some in Pakistan believe her secret talks with the military regime amounted to betrayal of democratic forces as these talks shored up President Musharraf's grip on the country.

Others said such talks indicated that the military might at long last be getting over its decades-old mistrust of Ms Bhutto and her party, and interpreted it as a good omen for democracy.

Western powers saw in her a popular leader with liberal leanings who could bring much needed legitimacy to Mr Musharraf's role in the "war against terror".

Unhappy family

Benazir Bhutto was the last remaining bearer of her late father's political legacy.

Her brother, Murtaza - who was once expected to play the role of party leader - fled to the then-communist Afghanistan after his father's fall.

From there, and various Middle Eastern capitals, he mounted a campaign against Pakistan's military government with a militant group called al-Zulfikar.

He won elections from exile in 1993 and became a provincial legislator, returning home soon afterwards, only to be shot dead under mysterious circumstances in 1996.

Benazir's other brother, Shahnawaz - also politically active but in less violent ways than Murtaza - was found dead in his French Riviera apartment in 1985.

Benazir Bhutto killed in attack

akistani former Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto has been assassinated in a suicide attack.

Ms Bhutto - the first woman PM in an Islamic state - was leaving an election rally in Rawalpindi when a gunman shot her in the neck and set off a bomb.

At least 20 other people died in the attack and several more were injured.

President Pervez Musharraf has urged people to remain calm but angry protests have gripped some cities, with at least 11 deaths reported.

Security forces have been placed on a state of "red alert" nationwide.

There were no immediate claims of responsibility for the attack. Analysts believe Islamist militants to be the most likely group behind it.

Ms Bhutto, leader of the Pakistan People's Party (PPP), had served as prime minister from 1988-1990 and 1993-1996, and had been campaigning ahead of elections due on 8 January.

Benazir Bhutto's coffin leaves hospital in Rawalpindi
Benazir Bhutto's coffin has now been taken from the hospital

It was the second suicide attack against her in recent months and came amid a wave of bombings targeting security and government officials.

Nawaz Sharif, also a former prime minister and a political rival, announced his Muslim League party would boycott the elections.

He called on President Musharraf to resign, saying free and fair elections were not possible under his rule.

The United Nations Security Council held an emergency session and later said it "unanimously condemned" the assassination.

Scene of grief

Ms Bhutto's coffin was removed from hospital in Rawalpindi and has now arrived by plane in Sukkur in Sindh province for burial in her home town, Larkana.

Her husband, Asif Ali Zardari, has arrived in Pakistan from Dubai to escort the coffin to its final resting-place.

The attack occurred close to an entrance gate of the city park where Ms Bhutto had been speaking.

Police confirmed reports Ms Bhutto had been shot in the neck and chest before the gunman blew himself up.

She died at 1816 (1316 GMT), said Wasif Ali Khan, a member of the PPP who was at hospital.

Some supporters at the hospital wept while others broke into anger, throwing stones at cars and breaking windows.

Protests erupted in other cities as news of the assassination spread, with reports of 11 deaths in the PPP's heartland province of Sindh, including four in provincial capital, Karachi.

More than 100 cars were burned in Karachi, while cars and a train were reportedly set on fire in Hyderabad.

In other violence:

  • Police in Peshawar, in the north-west, used batons and tear gas to break up a rally by protesters chanting anti-Musharraf slogans
  • One man was killed in a "shoot-out" between police and protesters in Tando Allahyar, the mayor said
  • Unrest was also reported in Quetta, Multan and Shikarpur
  • 'Security lapse'

    Mr Musharraf has announced three days of national mourning. All schools, colleges, universities, banks and government offices will remain closed.

    Mr Sharif said there had been a "serious lapse in security" by the government.

    Earlier on Thursday, at least four people were killed ahead of an election rally Mr Sharif had been preparing to attend close to Rawalpindi.

    Ms Bhutto's death has plunged the PPP into confusion and raises questions about whether January elections will go ahead as planned, the BBC's Barbara Plett in Islamabad says.

    The killing was condemned by India, the US, the UK and others.

    US President George W Bush telephoned Mr Musharraf for what the White House would only describe as a "brief" conversation on the situation.

    Ms Bhutto returned from self-imposed exile in October after years out of Pakistan where she had faced corruption charges.

    Her return was the result of a power-sharing agreement with President Musharraf

    He had granted an amnesty that covered the court cases she was facing.

    But relations with Mr Musharraf soon broke down.

    On the day of her arrival, she had led a motor cavalcade through the city of Karachi.

    It was hit by a double suicide attack that left some 130 dead.

    Rawalpindi, the nerve centre of Pakistan's military, is seen as one of the country's most secure cities.

    Many analysts say attacks like those on Thursday show the creeping "Talebanisation" of Pakistan.

    Radical Muslims calling for Islamic law, and fiercely opposed to the US, have become increasingly active in Pakistani politics in recent years, analysts say.

    1. Benazir Bhutto had addressed a rally of thousands of supporters in Rawalpindi's Liaqat Bagh Park
    2. As her convoy was leaving the park via the rear gate onto Murree road, she was shot twice in the neck and chest
    3. The gunman then blew himself up killing at least 16 people
    4. Ms Bhutto was taken to Rawalpindi General Hospital, but was pronounced dead at 1816 local time.


    Saturday, June 21, 2008

    Sorry I hurt you

    Taking responsibility and saying that you are sorry about something you did wrong is one way you can let go of guilt. Guilt says, "I did something wrong and so now I have to feel bad." There are two kinds of guilt.

    Helpful Guilt

    Guilt is an emotion that comes from the conscience when you have done something you know is wrong. Guilt works to nag you so that you won't do harmful things again. Guilt helps you look at your behavior and say, "What I did was wrong for me and it hurt someone else. I won't do that again." This is helpful guilt--it gets you to change something that you are doing that doesn't fit for you.

    Extra Guilt

    There is another kind of heaped-on-guilt that is not helpful. This is extra guilt where you feel like you are at fault even when you know that you didn't do anything wrong. This guilt is NOT productive. It just hangs around like a bad habit bugging you and making you feel rotten. Separate out your extra guilt from your helpful guilt.

    Use this imagery to let the bad kind of guilt go. Close your eyes and picture yourself going deep inside your body and collecting all the unnecessary guilt and putting it in a bag. Then picture yourself sending it to the moon, the center of the earth or anywhere safe where it will be neutralized. Breathe deeply and picture your guilt being released.


    You can let go of the helpful kind of guilt after you made amends to the person you hurt. Making an amends is an apology to tell someone that you are sorry for what you did. You make an amendment to your behavior--you add something that makes it right by saying you are sorry. Making an amends is a correction technique where you address your regret that you have hurt the other person.

    You can tell the person to his or her face what your are sorry about or you can write a letter. Or you can even talk to that person's angel and tell them of your regrets that you hurt the person. Even if it has been years and years ago since you hurt someone, you can still write about it and say that you are sorry.

    Take time now to write a letter to the person you have hurt. You may choose to send it or not, but writing it, saying you are sorry and feeling regret can help.

    Guilt is only necessary as an emotion to get you to stop doing harmful things or pushing you to do things we know you need to do that you have been avoiding. Any other guilt can be released as it doesn't do anything for you anymore. Get someone to help you if you can't do it by yourself. You just don't need to hold on to nonproductive guilt!

    Friday, June 20, 2008


    All of us, at one stage or other, have experienced a situation in which we have found ourself not trusting another person. This could have been someone we have just met and almost immediately have not felt comfortable with them. Expressions like "Wouldn't trust him/her as far as 1 could kick them" or "Wouldn't touch him/her with a forty foot barge pole" express this lack of trust

    Unfortunately though, occasionally not trusting someone else also includes those we have known for a while. Doubts begin to creep into our thinking about their motivation and behaviour, and these can begin to have a major impact on the relationship, for our behaviour in relation to the other person will begin to be different

    It is interesting to note that when we find ourself not being comfortable with another person, regardless of the circumstances, we are not always able to articulate what this discomfort is about. What we experience is a strong gut feeling or hunch, which we are not able to explain.

    Not trusting someone means that we do not have full confidence in them and consequently we are not interested in pursuing a relationship with them. Even if the circumstances dictate we need to spend some time in their company, we might find ourselves very wary of them and limit how we engage with them.

    So far the emphasis has been on the negative side of trust, or to be more precise, lack of trust. But what about when we do trust people? What happens to us when we trust people and what is different for us when we don't trust people?

    It would seem that when we trust someone, be it personally and/or professionally, we are willing to enter into a relationship with them. In a trusting relationship we are willing to conduct ourselves differently, engage in a wider range of actions, and also to be more open to a variety of experiences.

    The degree to which we trust someone has a major bearing on the type and relationship we will form with them. Relationships are a fundamental part of our existence. In fact, a substantial part of our existence can be thought of as co-existence, as we live and work together with a range of people.

    Much of our existence, and the quality of our living, is associated with the quality of our relationships. We exist within a network of relationships, and the quality of these relationships determines the sense of satisfaction, achievement, enjoyment and fulfilment we assess ourself to be experiencing. Much of meaning in life is bound up with our relationships and the associated experiences.

    We learn through our experiences in both positive and negative relationships. Positive relationships provide much of what is important for us to have a meaningful existence, They provide the context to have conversations, and it is through conversations that we are able to accomplish important things, and to grow and learn together

    Much of our suffering - be it individually, as a family, work group or a society - comes from not having the relationships and conversations which are vital for us, and indeed, which we yearn for. Unfortunately, because of previous experiences, some people find it more difficult than others to develop trusting relationships.

    Trust enables relationships to develop and flourish. When trust erodes, the relationship deteriorates. Doubts, which can creep into our thinking about the behaviour of the other person, can act like a poison and a cancer, quickly spreading to sabotage the relationship. Mistrust has a devastating impact on relationships and on the types and quality of conversations that will occur.

    Whilst trust is an indispensable component of positive and productive relationships, unfortunately it is something that can all too easily be taken for granted. We may only become aware of its importance when we feel trust has been broken.

    "Trust is the glue which holds relationships together"

    But what is trust? It could be said that it is a sensation, a hunch, a gut feeling. However, it is possible to be more precise. It can be claimed that trust is simultaneously a bodily sensation, an emotion and a linguistic phenomenon (a. judgement or an opinion). A gut feeling can be the emotional and bodily component of trust, and not being able to articulate it simply means we have not yet developed the linguistic component.

    In focusing on the linguistic component, trust can be regarded as a triple assessment. When we trust, or don't trust someone, we are assessing their sincerity, reliability and competence. Trusting or not trusting someone always involves one or more of these assessments.

    Typically we tend to associate trust with sincerity - the genuiness of someone in their engagement with us; ie., there is no hidden agenda or "cards being held to the chest". However, reliability is also a crucial facet of trust. Time and standards are two critical elements of reliability; examples of this are turning up to meetings at the agreed time, and completing agreed to tasks on time to a satisfactory standard. Competence involves having the necessary ability and skills to satisfactorily complete a task

    The issue of trust is also linked with identity. The image people have of us, the reputation we develop for ourselves, whether positive or negative, cannot be divorced from assessments continually being made about our sincerity, reliability and competence. The conversations people will or will not want to have with us, and the relationship they will want to develop, will be heavily influenced by the identity we have with them.

    We develop a reputation for being trustworthy or untrustworthy through our actions. Much of this reputation comes from how we enter into making arrangements and being dependable around the agreements and commitments we make. Do our actions match our words?

    Within our relationships it is all to easy to take trust for granted and overlook its pivotal role in our interactions with others. Trust can be regarded as a fragile element of relationships which needs continual nurturing. One or two instances can raise important and lingering questions, which may remain in the background and have a silent but devastating impact on the quality of the relationship.

    You may like to consider the following points for your own "action research" around trust. Think of two important people in your life who are part of your relationships network. One with which you have a positive relationship, and one which is not so positive. What differences do you find in your assessments of sincerity, reliability and competence for each relationship? What is different for you emotionally and bodily in these assessments? What is different about the quality of the conversations? What conversations and other actions, by both you and the other person, need to occur for trust to be built? What small steps are you willing to begin to take to have these conversations?

    Tuesday, June 17, 2008

    Twelve Rules for Being Human

    Twelve Rules for Being Human

    Star Dance

    1. You will receive a body.
    You may like it or hate it, but it will be yours the entire period.

    2. You will learn lessons.
    You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called Life. Each day in this school you will have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or think them irrelevant and stupid.

    3. There are no mistakes, only lessons.
    Growth is a process of trial and error: experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiments that ultimately "work."

    4. A lesson is repeated until learned.
    A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can then go on to the next lesson.

    5. Learning lessons does not end.
    There is no part of life that does not contain its lessons. If you are alive, there are lessons to be learned.

    6. "There" is no better than "here."
    When your "there" has become a "here," you will simply obtain another "there" that will again look better than "here."

    7. Others are merely mirrors of you.
    You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects something you love or hate about yourself.

    8. What you make of your life is up to you.
    You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.

    9. Life is exactly what you think it is.
    You create a life that matches your beliefs and expectations.

    10. Your answers lie inside you.
    The answers to life's questions lie inside you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.

    11. You will forget all this.

    12. You can remember it whenever you want.

    What's in a Look?

    The Ins and Outs of Flirting

    Many people have truly no idea what flirting is, much less how to do it effectively.

    Truth is, though, in today's busy and crowded world, you often only get a very short time to make an impression on someone- often from a distance- and flirting may be the only chance you get.

    Whether it's in a crowded classroom, restaurant, mall, or other gathering place, you constantly have an opportunity to meet new people through subltle flirting.

    For the girl, flirting can send a message to the guy from a distance that you're interested, or at least you want to get to know him a little better.

    For the guy, flirting with a girl gives you a chance to see her reaction to you. A positive reaction would likely give you the signal to introduce yourself.

    Flirting, accomplished effectively, sends the signal that you are a friendly, nice, and fun person, and you may be interested in the other person.

    These days, however, it is important to flirt strategically and politely. A persistent, unwelcome flirt can be not only irritating, but downright scary, in the wrong situation.

    The key here is drawing the line between looking/glancing versus staring/leering. Accompanied with the look, is the smile. A natural, friendly smile will always do better than the forced, fake one. In fact, the forced smile is often referred to as a 'psycho' smile. No one likes to be looked at like the other person is going to paint a 20 foot mural of you in their basement.

    Ok, here's specifics. For either a guy or a girl, a 2-3 second look, with a friendly smile, is usually enough to show interest. Try practicing with a friend, or in the mirror, and you will find three seconds is much longer than two people normally look into each other's eyes, unless they know each other well.

    Just as important as the duration of the look, however, is what you do right afterward. You want to give a confident, but not overconfident appearance. Avoid looking at the ceiling (showing arrogance or lack of interest). For girls, looking down right after the glance can send a positive and flirtatious message. For guys, looking back a few seconds later with a smile can go a long way.

    If you can, glance her way then return to your conversation or smile. You're sending the message that you are a happy and fun, and not desperate.

    Body language during the 'look' can be equally inportant. You want to look relaxed and confident, yet not like you're full of yourself. Guys, don't flex your muscles intentionally, unless you're in the gym. For the girls, fixing your makeup, hair, or other personal appearance detail may just send the message that you're 'high maintenance.' If you want to make sure you look good, check in a mirror before you begin 'the glancing game,'

    Remember, if you're not talking to this person face-to-face yet, all they have to go on their impression of you is what they see.

    Sunday, June 15, 2008

    Why do we dream

    No one actually knows why people dream. Doctors have theories though. One theory that doctors have is: When you are at school, home, or somewhere, there are so many things that are going on that you don't think about during the day, night, etc. When you sleep, in other words dream, you think about all of the things that have happened. Also, during the day or night, if you are worried or upset, or feeling something about someone, something, etc., it all comes out. You think/ dream about it when asleep.

    When people ask doctors and/or scientists," Does everyone dream?" Scientists and/or doctors say no. Some say that they are not sure. Some people don't dream. They can skip the 1st stage of sleep: REM (Rapid Eye Movement) sleep. Scientists and/or doctors don't really know why some people can do this. But they can.

    There are 4 steps to sleep. REM stage is the dreaming stage. The REM stage of sleep stands for: Rapid Eye Movement. You can find out more on the stages of sleep in the other Dream sections

    Children's Dreams

    Children have the scariest dreams of all people. They range from animals to bedtime stories. They dream about things that you would not expect.

    Animals play a big part in children's dreams. If your dog is sick, you might dream about your dog dying. Bedtime stories can also have an effect on children's dreams. If the child's bedtime story is about golf, he or she might dream about being a pro-golfer.

    Usually when sweet dreams happen, the child usually does something good. But the child's sweet dreams vary with each child's interest. For example: if the child scores the last point to win the game, he or she will most likely have sweet dreams.

    Children sometimes need to take their minds off things. Dreams work well for this. Children have a lot of subjects when they dream. I personally like to dream. Children's dreams are very interesting.

    How Do We Dream?

    Understanding the sleep cycle is the first important part of understanding dreams and how dreams happen. The average human being spends eight hours a day, fifty six hours a week, two hundred twenty-four hours a month, and two thousand, six hundred eighty-eight hours a year sleeping.

    Sleep is thought to be made of two basic forms known as slow wave sleep (SWS) and rapid eye movement (REM) sleep. Humans seem to go through four really sharp stages of SWS and then enter REM sleep. The four stages plus REM are mostly happen various times every nightly sleep cycle.

    While awake and alert, a human's EEGs (electroencephalograms) contain beta waves at 14-30 Hz, which is relatively high frequency and low voltage activity. When the human is resting and quiet, the EEGs have alpha waves at 8-13 Hz with slightly higher voltage. As humans begin to fall asleep, the EEGs have slower, higher-voltage delta waves, which are a large number of brain neurons (e.g., nerves) firing in unison. The myth is that we "drift off to sleep." The reality is that the onset of sleep is quite sudden. Stage ones sleep involves our breathing slowing, our muscle tone decreasing, and our body relaxing, with slow and low-voltage EEG. Stages 2-4 are notable for the person not awakening by outside push. These stages are marked by increasing frequency of delta waves, and the continued slowing of the body's functions. An exit from the pattern of Stage 1, then 2, 3 and 4 is a sign of physical and/or psychological disorder.

    Rapid eye-movement sleep differs from the 4 stages of sleep. During REM sleep, EEG activity of the brain resembles the awake but resting pattern. During REM, there are no delta waves, and the voltage activity is low and fast. To an observer, a human in REM sleep's eyes are beginning to move rapidly beneath the closed lids, as if the human is watching a movie. Also, during REM sleep, there is almost a full clampdown of muscle responses of the body. The body almost seems to be paralyzed.During REM, dream activity is happening.

    Dream research has tended to focus to a big degree on dream interpretation and meaning. It may be less interesting to consider how dreams happen. Recent discoveries find that dreams are neurocognitive in origin. To understand dreaming and particularly to understand dream content, it is necessary to better understand dreaming as a developmental cognitive achievement. The word "cognitive" refers to "thinking". "Neuro" refers to "the central nervous system". "Developmental" refers to the changes and maturation that occur from birth. Finally, the neurocognitive system, which is developing and maturing, suggests that there are several forebrain structures which are important to dreaming. Recent research states that the limbic, paralimbic, and associational areas of the forebrain are vital to visual dream imagery. Related research reports that dreaming is a cognitive achievement and in humans develops over the first 8-9 years of life and happens at about the same pace as other developmental areas such as cognition and language. Young children's dreams are very different from adolescent dreams or adult dreams. Until recently, dreams were believed to occur only during REM sleep. Some scientists, known as "brainstorm theorists" believe dreams may occur during Stage 2 Non-Rapid Eye Movement Sleep (NREM). These same scientists believe brainstorm stimulation is as important to dreams as stimulation of the forebrain areas mentioned earlier in this section.

    Humans usually enter REM ninety minutes into sleeping and go through Stages 1-4, plus REM, 5-6 times per night. In one year, a human could have on average 1825 dreams of which the typical human remembers only a few of their dreams. REM sleep is thought to be vital for memory and learning. Sleep, particularly REM sleep, is hypothesized to be restorative in nature. If deprived of REM sleep, humans become irritable, anxious, and depressed. When deprived of REM sleep, some humans go into "REM rebound". In other words, REM periods of sleep would occur more often and for a longer period of time than is typical. Drugs and medications frequently interfere with dreaming which suggests that there is a neurochemical relationship to dreams. Recent research is looking at the relationship between the neurochemical dopamine and dream activity. Serotonin may also have a relationship to dreams.

    Nightmares & Night Terrors

    A nightmare is a scary dream caused by unhappy thoughts in your subconscious and being abruptly awakened afterward. You usually remember your nightmares. People have nightmares in REM sleep which means rapid eye movement. Studies show that 5 out of 8 people have nightmares when they are adults.Nightmares usually occur between 4 and 6 am. Nightmares can range anywhere from falling in a bottomless pit to breaking up with a loved one. It is common for a child to have one to two nightmares a week. Nightmares don't happen much as children get older. Night terrors (also known as Pavor Nocturnus),on the other hand are very different. One thing is that night terrors occur in a deep non -REM sleep. Instead of moving into another stage of sleep, the child gets stuck between stages of sleep. Night terrors happen in children 3 to 5 years old. Night terrors usually stop occurring by school age. When having a night terror the child's eyes are wide open. The breathing and heart rate may increase. The child is also screaming and flailing his or her arms. There have been some cases of children getting out of bed and running around the room. Night terrors are not normally dangerous, but the things children do while they are having a night terror may be very dangerous. There is no known cause for night terrors, but doctors say it has to do with physical condition such as apnea (breathing disorders). Nightmares and night terrors are scarey for children but are not dangerous. If your child has night terrors you should not have bunk beds and should put child gates at their doors. Night terrors generally happen at the same time each night so you should try to wake your child up each night minutes before the terror happens.
    What is Sleepwalking?

    Sleepwalking is a sleeping problem affecting about 10% of all humans at least once in their lives. Somnambulism is the most common for ages four to twelve. Somnambulism is another name for sleepwalking . The difference between older people sleepwalking and younger people sleepwalking is the sleep pattern. The pattern changes and sleepwalking disappears as a child gets older.

    Sleepwalking usually occurs two hours after a child goes to sleep. This point is when the brain waves have become larger and he/she is in a deeper sleep. The eyes of the sleepwalker's are usually open. It is usually impossible to wake a sleepwalkers, but it is not harmful. Studies show most sleepwalkers cannot hear ordinary sounds. Sleepwalkers forget that they were sleepwalking that night in the morning. Sleepwalking lasts 5-15 minutes and can happen more than once in one night. Most sleepwalking is not dangerous though some sleepwalkers cause injury to themselves and others.

    Meaning of Dreams in Islam

    General Dreams

    Call to prayer

    ATHAAN (call to prayer): Seeing oneself giving the call to prayer may indicate one's plans for Hajj will succeed.


    BATHING: Dreaming of oneself bathing in cool water may refer to Allah's acceptance of one's repentance, a cure from sickness and/or the lifting of a calamity.


    BIRDS: Seeing birds flying or circling over one's head in a dream may indicate the attainment of an administrative post.


    BLOWING: Blowing away something or someone disliked in a dream indicates that the problem will soon be eliminated.

    Clothing, Cover

    CLOTHING/COVER: Seeing clothing or a cover in a dream may refer to a husband or wife according to the metaphor 'libaas' (meaning: clothing/cover).

    Cows: Fat cows, Lean Cows

    COWS: Fat cows indicate a good yield of harvest while lean cows indicate a poor yield.

    Fresh Dates

    DATES: If one sees fresh Ibn Taab dates in a dream, it indicates that one's practise of the religion will become better.

    Ripe Dates

    Dreaming of oneself eating ripe dates, acquiring them, etc. may signify Allah's granting of provision, or a reminder to pay charity, or a reminder to avoid extravagance.

    Door or Gate

    DOOR: Seeing oneself enter a door or a gate in a dream, may refer to the successful completion of a project, or the winning of an argument.

    Opening a Door

    Opening a door in a dream may refer to the acceptance of a supplication or the need to make one, according to the derivation of the word 'istiftaah'


    EGG: Seeing an egg in a dream may refer to a woman, according to the metaphor used in Quran referring to the maidens of paradise.


    ELEVATION: Seeing onself in a dream either elevated, ascending or in the sky may refer to an elevation in status or rank (rifah)

    Flowing Spring

    FLOWING SPRINGS: A flowing spring in a dream indicates continued reward for one's good deeds


    FURNISHING: Seeing furniture and rugs in a dream may indicate the coming of a time of rest or a break from a period of difficulty or it may imply the attainment of an administrative office which was sought.


    GARDEN: Seeing a garden in a dream indicates the richness of Islam.

    Receiving a Gift

    GIFT: Recieving a gift in a dream may indicate a blessing of happiness.


    GOLD: Being given gold or finding gold may indicate finding a suitable wife or a successful marriage. The symbolism is derived when the Prophet restricted ornaments of gold to women.


    HAJJ: Hearing oneself congratulated on doing Hajj or Umrah indicates that it went well.


    HAND-HOLD: Grasping a hand-hold in a dream indicates that one will continue to hold firmly to Islam.


    KEYS: Seeing keys in one's hand, or receiving keys in a dream, indicates the receipt of administrative authority.


    LAUGHING: Dreaming of oneself laughing in a dream may refer to the arrival of good news, good times.

    Leg irons

    LEG IRONS: Seeing oneself bound in leg-irons indicates stability in the religion.


    MAKKAH: Seeing oneself entering Makkah in a dream may refer to a state of security and peace


    MARRIAGE: Dreaming of oneself getting married may indicate an impeding marriage. If there are no marriage plans at the time of the dream, one may propose to the women shown in the dream.


    MILK: Receiving milk in a dream means that religious knowledge has been granted.


    MOUNTAINS: Seeing mountains in a dream means that you are going to Canada. LOL ..... just joking to see if anyone has made it this far.

    Seeing mountains in a dream may indicate the attainment of an administrative post.


    PEARLS: Dreaming of pearls may indicate Allah's granting of a mater, male or female, which refer to the young men and women of paradise granted to the believers.


    RECONCILIATION: Seeing a reconciliation in a dream may refer to a good settlement of one's affairs.

    Right Side

    RIGHT SIDE: If one dreams of being led to the right side of a location, it indicates achieving a state of security or an escape from harm


    ROOM: Dreaming of oneself in a room or in different rooms, may refer to being safefrom what one fears.


    ROPE: Seeing a rope in a dream and grabbing hold of it, may indicate one's adherance to the covenant with God and Islam.


    RULER: Being addressed by a ruler in a dream may refer to the attainment of a high post or rank.


    SHIP: Seeing a ship in a dream may mean success or escape.


    SHIRT: Wearing a shirt in a dream indicates adherences to the religion. The longer the shirt, the greater commitment to Islam

    Silk Cloth

    SILK CLOTH: Receiving or giving silk cloth in a dream may indicate impending marriage. Since silk garments are restricted to women, dreaming about silk may be symbolic of a woman.


    SWORD: Seeing a sword in a dream refers to one's companions and supporters coming to their aid.

    Wednesday, June 11, 2008

    How hygenic is kashmiri wazwaan???

    look for yourself
    Have a look on their hands....
    Rogan josh
    Yummy yukni
    Preparing gosthabaz
    Smoky atmosphere.....
    aur yeh raha suvadish WAZWAAN.......

    Is the Craze of Cricket Justified?

    The most loved sport in India, needs no introduction. Every person, despite of his or her age, has an opinion on this game. Really, the craze of cricket in India is dramatic. Everytime India plays a match, people in India find some or the other way out of their busy routines to view the live action. In India, cricket is followed much like a religion and the cricketers cannot be rated less than God himself.India-Pakistan cricket matches are played with most aggression by not only the players but also the supporters, which makes it a personal rivalry between the two teams.
    The craze for cricket was intensified after India's emphatic victory in the 1983 world cup. Every Indian recalls this moment with pride. But, this interest in the game of cricket, has taken away the shine of other sports. There will be very few who know that hockey is India's national game. We do remember almost every event in cricket. But, what about other sports? The most common answer to this question by every cricket fan will be that India is only good in cricket. We have highly talented young sportsmen and women in India. Hardworking and spirited players, who dream about representing our country in various sports , are found in India. But, no height can be achieved without support. Just like cricket, if other sports would receive the same support, with no doubt, India would have been mesmorizing in the field of sports.
    Cricket is a profession and can also be called a big budget game. Cricketers earn enormous amounts. Cricket followers do not gain anything out of this. An international sport is played for the pride of the country and thus the spirit of the game should be maintained. But there have been many incidents of match-fixing over shadowing the game of cricket. Many cricketers indulge themselves into match- fixing wherein they our secretly payed huge amounts for playing badly.
    We all wish that are country will someday be known as on of the giants in the world of sports. That special day is not far away, if we start giving our dedicated and respect support to all players of every sport in India.

    Every single person seems to be interested in india vs pakistan match n the scene is worth recaptulating.Every single shot is cherished,cheered n what not?Yesterdays match was amazing india won by 100 runs...lol.It bought joy to me but ma dad was like .....ufff for the pak team .Itz amazing to sit with ma dad n irritate him.......HIP HIP HURAAA

    Monday, June 9, 2008

    Killed for Missing Prayers

    Jihadis Follow in the Footsteps of Muhammad(PBUH)

    Pakistan's Daily Times reports that the members of Lashkar-e-Islam (literally 'Army of Islam') shot dead a man, standing near a Mosque at the time of prayer, who refused to come inside for praying when ordered to do so by the mujahideen. The newspaper reports:

    Activists of the Lashkar-e-Islam (LI) killed a man in Sarband Police Station jurisdiction on Saturday, police said. Sources within the police told Daily Times that Mukarram, son of Asadullah, was chastised by LI men for not offering Asr prayers and standing outside a mosque. When Mukarram told the men that it was his personal matter, the LI men shot him dead.

    This may sound barbaric and cruel, but for a committed Jihadi, it is a matter of principle and pride, and following the commands of Islam. Using violence for enforcing prayers upon the faithful is a pious commandment in Islam, which was recommended by the favorite and final prophet of Allah.

    First, children are to be beaten if they refuse to pray after they reach the age of 10:

    1.The Apostle of Allah (peace be upon him) said: Command your children to pray when they become seven years old, and beat them for it (prayer) when they become ten years old; and arrange their beds (to sleep) separately.

    Then Allah's final Prophet offers the following advice here:

    The Prophet said, "No prayer is harder for the hypocrites than the Fajr and the 'Isha' prayers and if they knew the reward for these prayers at their respective times, they would certainly present themselves (in the mosques) even if they had to crawl." The Prophet added, "Certainly I decided to order the Mu'adh-dhin (call-maker) to pronounce Iqama and order a man to lead the prayer and then take a fire flame to burn all those who had not left their houses so far for the prayer along with their houses."

    So, by the standards that the Prophet preached the above Jihadi must be considered to be practicing somewhat of a 'moderate' Islam, because he only murdered the man refusing to pray, but did not burn his house down too. Probably if the relatives lodge a police complaint they could expect the balance of the prophetic prescription.

    Howsoever cruel and horrific the murder in question may appear by civilized standards, the Jihadis are indoctrinated to believe it to be an act of righteousness. They believe their deeds to be good (by the standards Islam sets), which reminds us of the atheist philosopher Steven Weinberg's famous quote:

    Religion is an insult to human dignity. With or without it you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.

    Muhammad exhorted his followers to attack non-believers and to subdue them for making his dogma supreme. The Qur'an presents this hateful incitement of violence against non-believers as good and as the ultimate message of God to the Muslims to follow:

    [Following is quoted from the The Noble Quran, distributed for free by the Saudi Embassy's around the world, published by the King Fahd Complex For The Printing Of The Holy Qur'an - the author got his copy free from the Saudi Embassy in Singapore]

    Page 248:

    Qur'an 9:28
    Oh you who believe (in Allah's Oneness and in His Messenger Muhammad saw)! Verily, the Mushrikun (polytheists, pagans, idolators, disbelievers in the Oneness of Allah, and in the message of Muhammad saw) are Najasun (impure)[1]. So let them not come near Al-Masjidal-Haram (at Makkah) after this year; and if you fear poverty, Allah will enrich you if He wills, out of His Bounty. Surely, Allah is All-Knowing, All-Wise.

    [1] The footnote states that their impurity is both spiritual and physical, because they lack personal hygiene (filthy as regards urine, stools and blood).

    My notes:

    a) Even now the Islamic policy of not allowing impure kafirs to visit Makkah and Madina is to this very day enforced by the Saudi Govt.

    b) Enriching out of Allah's Bounty refers to the new income to be had by Muhammad and his followers from attacking, enslaving, robbing non-Believers, i.e. the spoils to be had from Jihad.

    Qur'an 9:29
    Fight against those who believe not in Allah, nor in the last day, nor forbid that which has been forbidden by Allah and His Messenger and those who acknowledge not the religion of truth (i.e. Islam) among the people of the scripture (Jews and Christians), until they pay the Jizyah[2] with willing submission, and feel themselves subdued.

    [2] Footnote reads:

    a) see footnote of 2:193 which reads:

    Allah's Apostle said: "I have been ordered (by Allah) to fight against the people until they testify that La ilaha illallah wa Anna Muhammmad-ur-Rasul Allah (none has the right to be worshipped but Allah and that Muhammad is Allah's Apostle), and perform As-salat (Iqamat-as-salat) and give Zakat, so if they perform all that, then they save their lives, and properties from me except for Islamic laws, and then their reckoning (accounts) will be with (done by Allah."

    b) Narrated Abu Hurairah: Allah's Messenger said, "The Hour will not be established until you fight against the Jews, and the stone behind which a Jew will be hiding will say, 'O Muslim! There is a Jew hiding behind me, so kill him'" (Sahih Al-Bukhari, Vol 4, Hadith No 177)

    c) Jizyah: a tax levied from the people of the Scriptures (Jews and Christians), who are under the protection of a Muslim government.

    A few pages later in the very same King Fahd published Qur'an (p253) the Hadith above about burning people to death for not attending prayers is approvingly quoted. I hope readers can make the clear connection between these hateful teachings and the actions of the Jihadis.


    The essential stage in biological life, and the stage at which Islamic legal liability is assumed, is adolescence. On this subject, the specialists and researchers in education, psychology and sociology, have averred that it is the most important stage in life. How should we regard the state of adolescence?

    When Islam directs the human being, it directs the kinetics of his being, emphasizing the elements of "practical anxiety" in his inner self. When God speaks of Adam as an example to humankind, He says: "And we had taken the covenant of Adam, but he forgot and We found in him no firm resolve" (Taha, 20:11 20:115). The discourse here is about Adam as an example, in his role as a person who does not possess the strong resolve of God's words: "The human being is created in haste, I will show you My signs, but ask Me not to hasten" (al Anbiya, 21:37); "And the human was ever hasty " (al Isra, 17:11); "Man was created weak" (al-Nisa, 4:28); "God is He who shaped you out of weakness" (al Rum, 30:54); and "Neither do 1 absolve myself of blame for the human self is prone to evil except that on which my Lord has bestowed His Mercy" (Yusuf, 12:53). We see, then, in more than one verse, that the emphasis is on the fact that, when created, the human being was not cast with monolithic strength, but that there are elements of weakness residing in his being.

    When we study these elements of weakness, we see that they reside in the personality of the human being, just as we see the function of the positive instincts which he demonstrates during the course of his life in the inevitable situations to which his instincts propel him.

    Moreover, there are the negative elements in the workings of the instincts impelling towards deviant things which mar human life when one loses balance and perspective. Thus , the human being stands between these two poles: the negative and the positive instincts, for which God (Exalted) emphasizes the intellect as an element among the elements of internal motivation ensuring the balance of perspective against desire.


    On contemplating in all of the above, we see adolescence as a normal state in the life of a person, being a condition to which one enters naturally. The process of physical growth begins with vague impulses, then places the person in an environment of rejection and revolution, propelling him to move from a stage of submissiveness and acquiescence to others, to one of realization of individuality and independence. This occurs without clear or proper guidelines for him to establish his individuality and independence.

    The stage of adolescence is exactly like the balance between the waves of the sea. In the same manner, a person enters the second wave in a new being which prepares him to be another person, setting the rule for a new stage. The role of (adolescent) education is to prevent the person from being lost, because the influence of the instincts entails the awakening of revolution in the person, the examination of new horizons not yet understood. All this can cause the person to lose his balance of perspective, since he has not acquired the necessary experience on which he can rely to establish a balance.


    Islam encourages child rearing in the manner described in the following hadith: "Leave him free for seven years... discipline him for seven… and be his companion for seven". Instruction between 7-14 years of age determines how the person will move towards the right guiding principles by focusing on the inner person, the natural elements of his personality, until adolescence comes along in the fourteenth year, or thereabouts. When it does, there is subjection to established controls. From 14 to 20 years of age, supervision over the adolescent tendencies of the individual personality continues until the person behaves in a normal manner that takes the futuristic developments into consideration.

    I do not wish to downplay the dangers of the stage of adolescence in the personality of the youth, but I do not perceive the issue as being as dangerous as claimed by some, except that it is compulsory that the nurturing at this stage be done in a manner whereby the child does not mature with restrictions which strangle him within himself, wrapping his mind and he becomes psychologically sick. Nor should he be given such total liberty that he takes absolute license, distancing himself from the balanced principles of human activities. Nurturing then must take place between the two extremes; there should be discipline without harshness and freedom without licentiousness.


    The stage of adolescence is marked by lack of experience and incomplete maturity. Hence, we see many aspects of misbehavior. Does Islam provide any guidelines to correct adolescent misconduct and to protect it from the pitfalls?

    Islam wants the parents to shepherd the spiritual aspect in the character of the child before he gets to the stage of adolescence. This may be done by accustoming the child to worship and by creating situations where he gradually becomes conscious of God. Islam has imbued the child with self-confidence, be it male or female, by giving it the right to be an independent and legally recognized entity. When the child reaches the age of mental maturity, when he can conduct his own affairs, Islam relieves him from his guardianship: "And test the orphans until, at adulthood, if you see maturity in them, then give them their property" (al-Nisa, 4:6)i.e., the guardianship of the elders is removed from a mentally mature boy or girl.

    Maturity is a mental state stemming from the intelligent examination and contemplation of things, so that the person is able to behave in a proper, balanced manner, in the normal way that people conduct their affairs and relations. This means that adolescence is not an unnatural stage, rather merely a state by which the person goes from a stage of development to the stage of maturity.


    Islam makes a person legally liable at maturity, so that he has responsibilities both in negative and in positive conditions. This means that Islam does not treat the stage of adolescence as one where the person lets up on responsibilities and obligations. For adolescence may persist until the last stages of life. This implies that the workings of the instincts which influence the negative side of a person through internal or external factors remain forever with that person-from the time of puberty to the end of his life. We know that there are adolescents in their forties, fifties, or even sixties; maturity is not a clearly defined age, but rather a stage, the effects of which begin at puberty and the mental and physical influences of which continue with the progression in life of the person who undergoes the awakening of instincts, in one form or another.


    Therefore, we must begin the work of spiritual, mental, and social instruction and all the other forms before puberty, so that we could prevent the conflict which the

    youth faces when he is faced with any impulse which might arise at this stage. This nurturing must continue at every stage, and we must apply the principles of instruction and care in such a manner that this new person does not retain the concept of the former one with respect to the issues that will emerge later in life. We should not seek to constrain him within a closed mind, but rather to open his "thinking and spiritual" lungs to breathe the clear air of life.


    In order that we do not digress from the topic, the main matter that needs explanation in the light of the Shariah and the Islamic instructions is masturbation.

    Masturbation is forbidden, since Islam wants that sexual matters to be satisfied through spousal relations only. This is different from the negative situations where sexual relations occur purely as, a physical joining of the bodies bereft of any supporting spiritual relations. This is in addition to the negative impact on the psychological aspect as well as life as a whole.

    Thus, masturbation is forbidden in every way, shape, or form including the sexual imagination that leads to orgasm. But although this act is prohibited, we must understand the normal, natural circumstances that push pubescent boys and girls to indulge in this bad habit. For the call of impulse and passion, and the resorting to this practice as a habit intended to satisfy these impulses, make masturbation one of the easiest habits to acquire, especially under social pressures which prevent any interaction between man and woman outside the limits of permanent marriage. Another influencing factor is the economic pressure preventing the youth from early marriage; or the aspect of traditions which prevents the girl from preparing for an early marriage , and similar factors placed by social restrictions.


    Islam has welcomed early marriage, since marriage as a natural state that is far detached from the pitfalls which others have placed in its path, in terms of mental and social maturity, financial means… etc. Islam sees one of the benefits of marriage is to provide a means of satisfying the sexual appetite of man and woman. It recognizes that other issues may develop and grow with this bond, which may be nurtured in exactly the same way as in other relations.

    As for the problem of pregnancy and child rearing, adequate solutions are possible, on the realization that we live the problem outside of early marriage and inside it. Islam, however, emphasizes early marriage for youths, regards the dowry (mahr) as a mere formality and focuses on making marriage easy in respect of the economic or financial requirements imposed by the community.

    When we understand the general Islamic outlook, we can see that it is possible for students to marry and pursue their studies, to live in their parental homes or a single room which they rent while at university. They can live their life with the same ease that they live their life as students.

    We notice that social traditions that place economic and societal restrictions or iron curtains on marriage to the point where marriage is not embarked on until one is in his thirties or later, while early marriage with all its problems is a basic solution in Islam to several problems.


    From the Shiite point of view, there is another solution, and that is "temporary marriage", or the "breakable contract", which may have certain reservations on it, specifically in relation to virgins. With respect to widows and divorcees, however, there is no difficulty.

    Islam does not regard the issue of sexual relations between the two genders for the purpose of satisfying the sexual appetite as a reprehensible contract, or that it assails the honor of a woman, for Islam regards sex as a natural need, in exactly the same way it does food and drink. When the human being wants to sate this carnal hunger by going to another human being it does not impugn the honor of that person. But, when we see sex only in light of the pitfalls which an air of excessive restriction create, then we go very far from the naturalness of sex.

    Sex is a natural condition, indeed, and it is possible for a woman to seek the satisfaction of her impulses, in a natural manner, with a man with whom she reaches an agreement with in all candor. So, too, it is possible for a man to do this with candor, without any party hurting the other, since it is a practice allowed by God. If they cannot enter into permanent marriage, they will instead enter a temporary one according to Shariah guidelines, under certain social controls, and when society reaches a level where it is convinced of the validity of this marriage.

    We may face the issue of the children born unexpectedly, in view of the fact that they are legitimate children. The problem stems from the fact that society may bar its youths every opportunity by which they can sate their hunger, and which drives them to masturbation, whether it realizes it or not.


    In view of the harsh social values, how can a proper understanding of sex that is devoid of distortions and misconceptions be reached?

    A proper understanding can only come about when the persistent social view of sex is changed, and the idea that it is something dirty or an affront to the dignity of the woman is abandoned. A social revolution must change the general views on marriage in such a way as to make us see that this institution provides the means to establish a simple and natural bond, without inviting the social pitfalls which we had inherited from non‑Islamic cultures. This is because Islam considers that marriage is essential between man and woman.

    The crux of the matter is that the marriage contract does not need religious authority, nor does it require any societal convention to fall within the scope of the Shariah. With the requisite Shariah conditions regarding the man and the woman, it is sufficient for the woman to say to the man: "I marry myself to you, with the dowry (mahr) value of so and so"; and that he says to her, "I accept this marriage according to the agreed mahr or the agreed conditions." With this, they are regarded before God (Exalted) as man and wife.

    In the Imami Shiite school of Jurisprudence, we notice that it is not stipulated that there should be two witnesses in marriage, but that it is commendable; since people may need to be married in circumstances where there are no witnesses. Recording the marriage in an official or Shariah registrar is exactly like registering any other contract or agreement it may be deemed legally established, but has no impact on the marriage itself from the Shariah point of view. The Shariah status of the bond is by virtue of the agreement between the two people as something specific between them, exactly as in the case of a business transaction, incorporation… etc.

    The solution to the sex problem, free of deviancy, obliges us to facilitate the matter of marriage and to abandon this pile of bugbears‑the product of a social tradition which has made marriage a difficult hurdle in the life of our youth. Because of this, our girls have been driven to deviation through its widest doors.


    What is the view of Islam on love between the two sexes, between boy and girl; is it something allowed by the Shariah, especially if we know that it can occur sometimes in a involuntary manner?

    Islam wants all of humankind, male and female, to experience human love, which allows people to feel for one another, and thus makes them feel united within the sphere of humanity. This love leads to nurturing, guarding, protecting, taking care of needs, preserving honor, respecting women, and so forth. Thus, we see the Messenger of God (p.) associating faith with love, for he said: "None of you is a true believer until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself, and hates for his brother what he hates for himself." This makes us understand that according to this hadith Islam emphasizes the issue of love which makes you sympathize with the feelings of the other.

    Consequently, you are not a true believer if your view regarding others is one of the other.

    Consequently, you are not a true believer if your view regarding others is one of emptiness, unconcern, without any feelings for their affairs. Hence, we find that the well known hadith stipulates this: "Who does not concern himself with the affairs of the Muslims is not a Muslim."

    The issue is that a human must love others who he shares their humanness. According to a hadith, when some people asked him about love, Imam Jafar al Sadiq (a.s) replied, "And is religion anything but love?" This then is the issue, in its separation from humanness.

    But there is also the aspect of human impulse which causes a person to love another in the same way that he loves his food and drink. His love is sexually directed towards a certain person. This is what most youths experience at the stage of adolescence and thereafter an attraction for physical beauty, sexual activity, and so forth. We notice that Islam wants humankind (male and female) to experience this love in a manner that culminates in marriage. There is no objection against a man loving a woman, admiring her beauty, and wanting to marry her. Islam allows a man to look at a woman whom he wants to marry in order to reflect on his attraction and desire for her from one perspective or another.

    However, love which a person takes as fun, an infatuation, or where sex is not limited to the legal boundaries of marriage, is rejected by Islam. In fact, everything that leads to sexual aberration, regardless of whether it is from the heart, the eyes, the tongue, the hands or other organs, and everything that leads to the sexual act, regardless of whether it is petting or practice, is repudiated by Islam, for it leads to moral problems, wherein a person distances himself from the proper path prescribed by God.

    When we speak of love as a involuntary psychological state, then we cannot dictate any law regarding this emotion. For God does not hold a person liable for that which he is incapable of, or anything beyond reason. However, Islam wants emotions to be kept under control, and therefore pushes the person, carefully and intelligently focusing his emotions, to think deeply, rather than dealing only with the surface. Islam tries to inculcate in its youth the ability to prevent them from acting solely after first impressions, or on the basis of skin deep ideas. Islam did not propound this solely for spousal relations, but for every human relation, such as friendship, etc.

    From another perspective, Islam has put controls on this love and does not push the two parties to remain alone in private; it does not permit them to express their love through petting or other forms which lead to the influence of impulses indicated earlier. On the other hand, Islam does not prohibit innocent talk, which expresses the emotion in a way that accords with a Shariah based relationship.


    Is it possible for us, with respect to love, to speak of what is termed "Platonic love" or virtuous, sentimental love?

    When you speak of love as an emotion, you cannot categorize it as "Platonic", on the one hand, and "instinctive", on the other. But we may say that there is a state of sexual desire which some people may term "love" i.e., a state where there is a physical attraction between one body and another body, not a state where one person loves another person. The issue of physical attraction represents a physical act where one body gets close to another without there being any place for the facet of humanness in it.

    But love is a human emotion which attracts you to another person by way of the beautiful, ideal, functional, or other attributes. We bear the responsibility to differentiate between the emotion which plays a role in physical contact, and that which plays a role in the appreciation of a person, in a natural relationship structured on the basis of mutual respect.