Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Slow Death Of Your Hopes

It’s so easy for you to break down. Maybe easier than ever. It’s something special yet so heart breaking. Flowing like a river in your veins the pain just tortures you.

Wasting all the moments you live wondering of bittersweet memories, looking for insecure future. Not giving a damn about the present yet having to face all it’s emotions.

You wish for a saviour..but you have to admit that saviours do not exist. Nor do miracles. And It’s even harder to go on without having small illusions as hopes.

You don’t make any sense..you don’t make sense to yourself, how could you make sense to anyone else?

All alone in the nothingness inside, you can’t get out of the misery. You feel like you can’t take the tears
anymore. You want just a little help. But you can’t ask for it. You face everything alone trying too hide or run away from the glittering tears, from the dark paths of loneliness, from the outstanding beauty of fears.

You got to a point. Everything bothers you and everything scares you. You find it hard to go out on the street, you’re afraid of tomorrow’s happenings and mostly of the broken dreams you may try to chase.

You’re world is built up of illusions. And yet you can’t and you don’t even want to stop following them. You’re waiting for a heavenly help..instead you get damn disappointments.

You just want to escape, have a loving arm around you. No you’re not looking for anything special. Just for the feeling of being loved and safe. Which can be so far from you.

You want to wander alone on the dark streets at night. To let your tears out as the stars shine on your cracked face. The Moon guides you and the stars comfort you. Without a sound they give you some peace. Maybe just because human power or human emotions can’t harm them. They are safe.

You wish you could stay on one of them. Looking down from above watching the never ending play in front of your eyes. Rushing people, led by emotions, instincts , false believes.

The only way out which you see is hiding yourself or running away. You wish you jumped on the first train and went as far as possible from this pain, from the stunning brightness of your inner damage.

But you never did , and you’re not at all patient . You want this to end.

No one understands you, and there is no one to whom to turn to. Nothing is possible but everything can get broken in seconds of time.

Wondering why you can control your life is so depressing. Depressing thoughts, emotions, feelings, dreams...and nothing certain.

You want to feel love, pure and innocent love. The care and the affection. That someone wants you. Someone is close to you whenever you need. You want to be selfish and finally get someone who actually gives a damn about you and it’s willing to finally pass out from the row of those who just take advantage of you.

Pain can be so easy. Breaking down easier. Pain is like a drug. Is its way of being. It guides you all the way through. Makes you want more of it. Wants you have more tears. Makes you human. And actually you feel like belonging near pain. There is no other way. You just feel thankful for having a place in life. Pain is your all time friend. Brought you a lot more friends...such as loneliness, depression, insecurity, fears, anxiety and so on. All of a baggage.

Your confusion is so hard to take. Crawling in the middle of nowhere...looking at streets, places like you never saw them..actually you saw them thousands of times.

Someone should save you my dear. You don’t stop praying yet you get no answer. You just want to finally experience how is to have as your friend Happiness...

Tears and tears running but how much time do they have ?

The Art Of Not Belonging

It's already a pleasure the experience of not belonging at all. How is that possible? Actually quite simple, you just don't fit. And yet everyone feels it but no one talks about it, if not they don't talk about the contrary of it either. You're alone, that was know till now as well, but the fact that your place in this world is not given was a mistery.

But today,now and forever I'll enlighten you about the fact, you have no place. No place near no human being, no place in a friendship, no place in a family, no place in a community, no place in a country, society. You don't belong.

Why would you? Or how could you? You're a loner, you know the perfection of falling down, you know the beauty of sadness, the pain of the rising sun, and actually all the missery connected to your gorgeous lonely life.

You wake up alone to see the wide light which hurts deep inside while all you want to do is to hide under your blanket. But your bed hates you, and throws you down. You crawl in the narrow streets of your vivid thoughts.

How can someone belong with so many fears deep inside? Struggling with the words, ideas, steps.You live your life with so much fear. You are afraid to tell your own opinion and you're afraid to see your friends while you love them. The art of not belonging taught you how to keep yourself away from everyone. Just saying 'they are all better off without me'. Maybe because your afraid of them misunderstanding you, or maybe you just feel like you drag them down with yourself.

No one will notice that you need a helping hand, no one will care, no one will give attention, no one will love. Simply because you do not fit in. You can't fit in anywhere. You may chase your precious dream of running away, mostly from your problems but why would that make any difference? You won't belong.. neither here, nor in an other country. You won't be understood. You can't control it. You're just charged to live your life as a one type- spice.

Tears and tears over and over again till you find your great peace in sleep. But you always wake up to the nightmare. Life changed its style. It tortures you day time and leaves you with beauty dreams nightly. Does that mean anything? Anyways you don't make sense. If you count well you probably have a lot more psychological illnesses then you think.

Breaking down is always the easiest way. It's a real shame, but it's cool. You wonder if it makes any sense to change or to try? For whom or for what? No one would loose sleep if you won't be here tomorrow. They'd just loose some fights which they held with you. Big loss anyways.

You hate this world. You hate everything and everyone. You're screaming inside, screaming at your best friend, confessing love to a guy who won't ever feel anything for you, crying to yourself. Because you can't belong and this tore you awesomely apart. You want to be part of something, important for someone.

You never wanted fame, never wanted popularity nor sameness. But now all your wish is to be just as everyone else. You want true love, you want friends, you want discussions, you want family, you want care, hope, help, You want to talk freely without thinking what others think. Just to be a simple person who DOES belong.

Why is that important? Well try for just a few days how is when you struggle when being around people, try crying every day, try to hate the sunset, try to feel down when you suppose to have fun, try to hide deep inside all that's inside of you, try to be lonely. And i bet you understand what i might try to say.

Pictures roll in front of you. Circles around your eyes. Hurts, it hurts all your eyes, because the make up which you put on just flew into your eyes when the tears started running. The emotions vanish away. Your pain is just the same. You're tired. tired of all the hurt inside. Yet you can't tell anyone. Maybe you don't even understand yourself. You're confused. You feel so lost and empty . How could you belong ?

I learned in my life, to trust very few people

I learned in my life, to trust very few people. I agree that all people probably should be trusted until proven untrustworthy, yet you must be careful with that rule. I have seen that i wear my heart on my sleeve and let myself be too vulnerable to this world and the people in it. I guess I tell people everything, because thats who I am, I never lie about the girl I am. I tell people what i have done, and who I want to be. I tell people the pain and the happiness of my life. I finally realized that people truly dont care. Their are a few good people on this world, I do recognize them. Yet, moslty i find myself dissappointed by the people I excepted the most from. The person we love , all they know is how is lie. They have become among one of such a person, who does not even know what the truth is. Lying has become a way of life for them. My question is..how do you open your heart to someone else, when everyone you love has only lied and let you down. I except pain, and lies. Its life, it is bittersweet. I take the bad with the good everyday. I count my blessings. God has truly been so good to me. I try so hard to be a good person, but when your surrounded by only bad, it takes a tole on you. I am now getting all the bad people out of my life. I refuse to let one more person lie to me. Yet, i also refuse to be cold hearted and to not love again. So, my conclusion is...with love, comes pain, and suffering, and tears, and lies...but I'm going to deal with that all. Because, without love, We are nothing. We all need love. Love is what keeps us going.
“The key is to get to know people and trust them to be who they are. Instead, we trust people to be who we want them to be- and when they're not, we cry.”

we hold expectations for others...we set them out to be someone their not most of the time. then we are left wondering why we are hurt so bad, and so disappointed? its because they were never and will never be that person we wanted or thought they were. the key to it all is to listen, get to know people, build your relationship with them and then and only then you will see who they are thru not just their words, but their actions. people's true colors show when u just take the time to listen and watch as they unfold... and still then, they might end up disappointing you. but isnt this life? its all bittersweet, its all mistakes, experiences, learning, and growing...and with that you have to open your heart to trust and open your heart to life......"u may be deceived if u trust too much, but u will live in torment if u do not trust enough."

UnWiNdInG mYsElF

Being gentle and a little patient and comforting has been a quality very much a part of me. No making loud statements here, but somehow, I haven't really been able to treat someone rudely or just give up on them even if they seemed utterly impossible. There are times that I have wondered loudly to myself if I was trying to act like some mini-super-hero thing! Trying to be that good girl in the books of all or something of that sort. Truth after all is, I just am that! Can’t help to see someone that way.

And then again, I’ve also been this really naive, soft and sensitive girl, so untouched by life, looking at the world with wide and interested eyes. I’ve changed. Changed to being that girl who can possibly hold herself up and keep the silence of her agony to herself - in a way. But coming to think of it now, I can see more twists to what I used to be. I am losing it - the uncanny ability to keep sticking to something with pain within.

Alright, apologies to keep going on endlessly about stuff involving pain, rejection and lost memories, but I guess I can be excused to be writing precisely about what I feel strongly about.

These days, it is maddening to be the one who has to listen to people throw tantrums, just because they managed to wreck their day. Like, you have a very bad time with something, or maybe the whole darn day goes in some horrible way, you come online or call up someone (read: me), and then you get all sulky and I try to ease it up... only to be the one to witness the other person go off, leaving me clueless about what I’d really done to deserve that way of treating.

Sure, people do have those days where nothing seems to go about the right way. Everything piles into an agonizing and highly irritating set of troubles. You don't understand what exactly is going wrong, and all you want to do is, to burn the world up, if you could afford to or manage to do so. Nothing sane pleases you; no assurances get you back in shape. Like, you just need that time to unwind yourself after the whole energy is used in one blast to shut all that frustration off.

The point I’d like to say is, I get into this category, too! I mean, I am human too! I have my own bad days, times when I don't understand what is wrong but I just want to shout at the top of my voice, times when I want to get online and just not talk anything or start up a conversation on my own, times when I want to just keep singing to myself even if it involves me at the vicinity of close company...

And well, do I get to be so? No, sir! Shouldn’t I be the one who is patient and controlled enough? Sounds pretty like the image for a 'perfect' personality. But trust it to ask me how really annoying it is! It is like, I am battling within myself to keep myself together in one piece, trying to distract myself in the best way possible out of the unexplainable rage burning within, and then, someone wants to unleash their bad day on me and then just walk away like nothing ever really happened. My head is like: huh?

The reasons range from a wide variety of highly kicked up fantasies of the mind to the most trivial things imaginable: not having had enough sleep, not having got a copy of some book or CD you've long wanted, not being able to go to some concert happening out the corner, and then, the cases of not staying in touch..

Tell me, it takes two people to make a relationship, right (please, this includes the realms of friendship too)? It takes two people to stay in touch, right? To keep it going? It infuriates me to no extent to be blamed, and then, when I try to stay calm and explain, pat it comes, "Excuses!"

Again, huh? In the first place, why do I have to explain if the relationship is really worth keeping? And whatever is a relationship if you can't understand me right and give me my space (whatever that means)? If it is so important to you that you need constant contact, why don't you just take an initiative? Attitude? Or are you trying to check on me?!

If you really care, then shouldn't it be like you'd do anything to get any bit of precious time in the company spent in absolute sweet talk?

And then, there are those that keep missing you very badly in your absence and then ridicule away all the moments when you have all the time in the world for them. Makes you wonder if they really meant it when they'd said you had been missed in the first place.

Know what? I just want to throw it up myself! Just shout out loud, kick the world up, and stay by myself, if I just want to, if I just feel like doing so. If everybody gets a chance to let themselves out and still justify themselves by the fact that it was just a passing mood, then why can't I?

Right now, I want to slam the door shut, hard, talk whatever that is running through my mind without the slightest inhibition at the thought of what 'others' might think, feel absolutely confident and feel absolutely 'Me'.

No, sir! I don't want to sulk, I don't want to boss around, I don't want to kick up any 'attitude' like half the world goes about thinking! It's just that, I too have my times when I just don't want to explain, excuse myself, make myself understood, put myself across in the 'appropriate' way, and smile and be around to keep comforting, being that bear hug everyone dreams of.

After all, the hardest and truest part is - if they really are true and genuine people who'd give anything to have you, or at least who care so much that they'd do the utmost to stay by, they are going to have you for whatever you are!

Raised eyebrows?

Did I not tell you, I’m *not* like that girl?!

True Love - To See our happiness in the happiness of others

Life is the first gift, love is the second, and understanding the third.Being mad or crazy after love never helps. Neither of us can have a good life. Understanding a true love is required to make lives happier. To love is to place our happiness in the happiness of another.

I’ll never break your heart,
I’ll never make you cry,
I’d rather die than live without you,
I’ll give you all of me,
Honey, that’s no lie.

There is a letter which makes us blind. But it is not made for that purpose. We take it in different way.


Before reading it, take my words, it can be experience of anyone and nothing is personnel and I would like to make no comments. There are no principles behind it. Every one of us faces it and forgets it. But it is not so easy. It lives some moments for us.

"I have learned not to worry about love; but to honor its coming with all my heart."

Life is full of success and failures. Every one of us learns about love from family. I love my family a lot. But when we meet some unknown person whom we like, it becomes somehow-a different story and situation to face. Our mom and dad are with us. Blood relations never leave you alone. That is our belief. So we are not worried for the love which is early god gift for us. But we worry about the relation which we need to make for the rest of life. For that we even become selfish sometime.

"Spread love everywhere you go: first of all in your own home. Give love to your siblings, children, to a wife or husband, to a next-door neighbor-simply to EVERYONE"

Just don’t be selfish. When we start loving some one, we try to achieve the love from another side. If it is 50% from your side, let it be. Let other makes fun of your failure. But never forget that love is to give rather to achieve. If it is yours, it will come to you by circumstances.

Love is merely madness...

He made so many calls.She thought he wants to talk. She was not wishing to discourage him and disappoint him.He was my one of the good friends but she found some problems with his new behavior. For her, he was a friend. But he was one step ahead. Her intentions were good. Even she was also willing to help him.Sometimes even she was finding some opportunities where she could had talk with him for so many hours. She just followed what others do.She analyzed herself. It was just her friendly behavior. It was their personal satisfaction while they talked for so many hours. It was his personal wish to be with her. Gifting a material thing without any reasons is not giving. Really I forget true definition of love and friendship. Anyway it makes us mad.

"What the heart gives away is never gone ... It is kept in the hearts of others."

Thank God She understood him. Let it be her failure, but I don’t like to change definition of love. I have no idea what to do else. But at least I know what not to do. You are succeeded if someone misses you any day in his life. So just let life decides. Don’t be cruel to get your love. Nothing is gone if you allow your love to go far from you. Love never comes if you wan to tie up with you intentionally. It is free. Try to spread happiness, help and holiness whenever you love.

"What we have once enjoyed we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us."

Love makes your life full of happiness.We need to think about its true gifts. Even if we spend our 80 % of time to get material things, we are not satisfied with our life. It is not balanced. In fact 80 % of our life problems causes from our mental situations. Psychology does matter in our life. So spend time to get some free and happy moments. What we call it "Memories". Enjoy long lasting memories of being with your love.


"If you are reading this, believe me my intentions are holy. Be happy wherever you are. If you need my help friends, you can call me without any hesitation. Even in your absence I will live a happy life. Don’t feel any time worried about my life believing you had created my life alone or difficult. You had always given pleasant moments to me." We really need such thoughts flowing in our mind for our true love.


"The minute I heard my first love story, I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don't finally meet somewhere.
They're in each other all along."

BeInG mIsSeD

i have given this enough thought now; so much that i feel i'll go crazy if i don't make my next post here now. i have been thinking if i should already post my first story here, or what precisely is running through my head at the moment. i guess the second one has finally won :D

i don't remember when i last had a wonderful day at home. somehow, there's always a spoiler, and it always comes in a magnified way. my time on the net or phone or with books have been restricted for the zillionth time. secluded life, in a way :P i need res and keep myself wellt, is what i hear when i ask "why?"

rest is fine, but not at the cost of me not knowing what to do with every darn minute of my day :P sleeping, eating, writing now and then; i'm not really sure if i'm doing anything else. oh yea, thinking :P

my thoughts that i always rate as suicidal and dangerous to alarming extents, resurface now and then. and mid-way being caught up between 'em, i fall asleep.

but apart from all these, there have been a few things that make me smile a little and maybe, blush a little too ;) being missed has never meant so much till now. i keep wondering how i had grown so addicted to coming online, socialising, talking with a few treasured ones, and calling up a few others.. only now it is actually sinking in that, it is the same game being played at both sides of the court, afterall ;)

"i missed you sooOoooOoo much"

"can't wait to hear your voice. missing it lots !"

"time online is just not the same with no you around.."

.. and the likes ;) seriously, now and then it doesn't hurt to pamper the heart and mind with such statements from those that you love. well, "doesn't hurt" sure is an understatement :P
it feels like nothing else can matter more ! :)

smiling, blushing.. ahem ! ;)

at times, it's a pleasure, to be missed. and even more joy, to quietly rerun those conversations, feel loved, cared for, and pampered ! ;)

shh...!! it's a silent secret ! don't let 'em know. i'd have liked this "missing you" thing go on for a little longer but i guess nothing lasts FOREVER:'(

Learn from your mistakes

You'll get over it...' It's the clich├ęs that cause the trouble. To lose someone u love is to alter ur life forever. You don't get over it because 'it' is the person u loved. The pain stops, there are new people, but the gap never closes. How could it? The particularness of someone who mattered enough to grieve over is not erased by anyone but death. This hole in my heart is in the shape of u & no one else can fit.

We hold onto memories so tight, because memories never change...but the people in them do.
Since you left me here the sun won't shine..When I saw you I liked you, when I liked you I loved you, when I loved you I lost you...

Now thanks to you...I'm scared to fall in love again. First of all, you broke my heart when I expected you to be the last one to do it. And now I'm left with my heart broken and in pieces and you don't even bother to notice. It's sad because all along I thought you knew me better than everyone else....but now I am starting to wonder if you even knew me at all.

When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place...
Maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope.

Did you fall, did you break? Did you make a mistake? Did you lose how it felt to win? Don't tell me that it's over now. If I said the right thing, if I said the wrong. No matter how far I go, you will always be home. I'm sorry, but you're all that I know..

I said I wonder when it'll be my day. 'Cause I'm not too far from breaking down, and all I’ve got are screams inside. But somehow they come out in a smile, and I'm wondering if I'll always feel this way, this way..It hurts to breathe. Well every time that you're not next to me. And now I'm forced to see, I think I'm on my way. Oh, it hurts to live today...So tell me you need me and I will stay, you believe me and I will wait, that you'd come back for me every time I fall. If you want me then you got me. Just never leave me alone...

I feel so NUMB. All I've become has fallin apart. Hole in my heart. I will cry. All is a lie that we must break. Heal my heartache...

I've come so close, it's almost hard to believe
When you're up close, it blinds you brilliantly
Just one rush can change your life forever
Just one push can end it all together
Why can't we learn from the plague that surrounds us
Learn from my mistakes
Learn from this mistake
Learn from our mistake
Learn from their mistakes
There's no shoulder to cry on when you have no shame
There's no finger to point when you are to blame
Open book, in my eyes shows you rain, then storming
I can't look, when covered by the nothing and the suffering
Learn from my mistakes
Learn from this mistake
Learn from our mistake
Learn from their mistakes
Learn from my mistake
Believe me, all my friends, in the ending of the story
There's no junkie out there with a happy ending
It consumes you, and haunts you like the devil
It's the art of the process that kills off all the rebels
Learn from this mistake

I tried to love you I thought I could,
I tried to own you I thought I would,
love, hate, love."

I used to love the taste of my salty tears. Now that's just old news.

HE put her out like the burning end of a midnight cigarette
He broke her heart she spent her whole life tryin' to forget
We watched her drink her pain away a little at a time
But she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind
Until the night

She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away his memory
Life is short but this time it was bigger
Than the strength she had to get up off her knees
We found her with her face down in the pillow
With a note that said I'll love him till I die
And when we buried her beneath the earth
The angels sang a whiskey lullaby

The rumors flew but nobody know how much he blamed himself
For years and years he tried to hide the whiskey on his breath
he finally drank his pain away a little at a time
But he never could get drunk enough to get her off his mind
Until the night

He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away her memory
Life is short but this time it was bigger
Than the strength he had to get up off his knees
We found him with his face down in the pillow
Clinging to her picture for dear life
We laid him next to her beneath the earth
While the angels sang a whiskey lullaby

This is a short message that I wish to deliver to all parents in the world.

To My Dearest Parents,

Though I'm not able to express this to you but this is what i feel and think. When I go home the thing that is in my mind is to share my happiness with you. My heart will always be thinking about mum and dad and I would like to send a short note to express my gratitude to both of you.

I thank mum and dad for your kind deeds in bringing me up as a useful person.

When I’m not around you, I’ll give you a call or SMS to report my health and safety

I’ll take care of your feelings and welfare

I’ll send you cards during festive seasons and during your birthday

As my life is given by you, mine is completely belongs to you, nobody can take away our relationship. All my success and pride are with you.

I’ll always bless for your health as you have brought me to this world

Without your patience and guideline, I won’t be winning these medals and I won’t be somebody important to the world

Dad, you are a big tree and mum, you are a warm place to sleep. I’m luckier to have received good deeds from you for my whole lifetime.

No matter what condition I’m having now, you love me the most. Mum says, “I don’t want my daughter/son to be the first in the world or to be a known personality, but I want you to live healthily and happily. Kid, you’re always the first in my heart! ”

Mum and dad, I appreciate you for educating me to be a knowledgeable person. And thanks for teaching me things as simple as ABC.

Your love to me will never dry up. You accept me with your heart no matter I am success or fail in my life.

Your kind deeds will hardly be paid even with thousand million US dollars

When I fall down, you give me a hand. When I cry, you rub my tears and comfort me to be strong. How can I forget you?

You have guided me though the correct path. And you cultivate good virtue in my heart.

Your good virtue is my endless wealth. Your teaching is a compass that directs my life and destiny.

I sincerely wish you a good mood, health and peace in life

Now, I want to address to you: I love you, my dear parents and I'm so sorry for hurting you so much:'(

I seldom take the time to tell you
that I'm happy you're my mom and dad;
so I'll tell you now what's in my heart,
"You're the best that I could have!"


Your child

Strive to be happy.

Go placidly amid the noise & haste & remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly & clearly; and listen to others, even the dull & ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud & aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain & bitter; for always there will be greater & lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not fein affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity & disenchantment it is perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue & loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a Child of the Universe, no less than the trees & the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the Universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors & aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery & broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful.

Love and Pain.... Why It Hurts to Care ?

Nested in a bundle of wires, leads, and syringes, a baby—scarcely three weeks old—breaths labored, deep breaths. Within his tiny body, lengths of tubes and catheters reside, each designed to manipulate his vital functions enough to ensure another hour, at least, of life. His problem: A congenital heart defect known as tricuspid atresia, a malady in which the right ventricle of his heart didn’t form correctly. An emergency procedure has temporarily saved his life, inserting a necessary shunt into a pulmonary valve. Now he rests, his worried and fatigued parents standing by his plastic walled crib, watching powerlessly as machines assist his breathing and methodically drop medicines into his tiny veins.

Where is the greater drama? What is it that draws the eye to this particular scene? Is it the pathetic form enfolded in the plastic arms of an Intensive Care Unit? Or does it lie in the unseen weight that bares down on the distressed parents? What is it that transmits this image so forcefully?

The emotion most sought after—and, perhaps, most rarely reciprocated—is that of love. Such a powerful and enigmatic sentiment has been a permanent fixture in humanity throughout the millennia. Every form of expression—from modern “emo” songs to the surpassing poetry of Shakespeare—has attempted to contain what is felt for love, to somehow encapsulate and apprehend what is, essentially, an almost incomprehensible emotion.

Mothers most especially are cognizant of this capacity for loving. They put their own lives on hold—sometimes even approaching the valley of death in an attempt to bring another being to life—as they altruistically sacrifice self-interest and -comfort for the benefit of their progeny. The love of a mother is without peer.

It is this commiseration between sufferer and observer that lies at the heart of this hospital drama. Couched within the mother’s ability to love is an equal capacity to hurt and suffer—often vicariously—with her child. Indeed, it could be said that the depth of pain for one is a perfect reflection of the depth of love that is likewise felt for him or her.

Don't Ever Let Anyone To Be A Priority

Don’t ever let people tell you that you aren’t good enough
Because you are.

Don’t ever give up your dreams
Because you need them.

Don’t ever compromise your morals
Because they make you who you are.

Don’t ever hide your feelings
Because someone’s willing to hear them.

Don’t ever think you’ve got it all figured out
Because the next moment you won’t.

Don’t ever live your life in the past
Because then you’ll miss out on the now.

Don’t ever let people bring you down
Because they don’t deserve to.

Don’t ever be someone you aren’t
Because then you’ll never know you who really are.

Don’t ever let someone tell you how you feel
Because it’s not their right to.

Don’t ever give up something that feels right
Because it probably is.

Don’t ever worry about the petty things
Because they just don’t matter.

Don’t ever run away from your problems
Because they always find you.

Don’t ever be afraid to take risks
Because they make life worth living.

Don’t ever let someone take away your happiness
Because it was never theirs to take.


1. No one can ruin your day without YOUR permission.

2. Most people will be about as happy, as they decide to be.

3. Others can stop you temporarily, but only you can do it permanently.

4. Whatever you are willing to put up with, is exactly what you will have.

5. Success stops when you do.

6. When your ship comes in. ... make sure you are willing to unload it.

7. You will never "have it all together."

8. Life is a journey... not a destination. Enjoy the trip!

9. The biggest lie on the planet: "When I get what I want I will be happy."

10. The best way to escape your problem is to solve it.

11. I've learned that ultimately 'takers' lose and 'givers' win.

12. Life's precious moments don't have value, unless they are shared.

13. If you don't start, it's certain you won't arrive.

14. We often fear the thing we want the most.

15. Yesterday was the deadline for all complaints.

16. Look for opportunities. ..not guarantees.

17. Life is what's coming....not what was.

18. Success is getting up one more time.

19. Now is the most interesting time of all.

20. When things go wrong.....don' t go with them.

21. Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side.

22. A person who asks a question might be a fool for five minutes, but a person who doesn't ask, is a fool forever.

23. A best friend is like a four leaf clover... hard to find, and lucky to have.

24. I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.

25. Our eyes are placed in front because it is more important to look ahead than to look behind.


Rule 1:Life is not fair-get used to it

Rule 2:The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3:You will NOT make $40,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4:If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5:Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping--they
called it opportunity.

Rule 6:If you mess up, it's not your parent's fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7:Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you are. So before you save the rainforest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8:Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life has not. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you the test as many times as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9:Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10:Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11:Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

Learn From Your Life

Sometimes people come into your life & you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or help you figure out who you are & or who you want to become You never know who these people may be (possibly your roommate, neighbor, professor, long lost friend, lover, or even a complete stranger), but when you lock eyes with them, you know at the very moment that they will affect your life in some profound way.
and sometime things will happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, & unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming these obstacles that you would have never realized your true potential, strength, will power, or heart
Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by mean of good luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness & sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without this small test, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere. It would be safe & comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.
The people that you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls you experience, help to create who you are and who you will become Even the bad experiences are learned from. In fact, they are the most poignant ones.
If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious when you open your heart. If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love & how to open your heart & eyes to things.
Make everyday count. Appreciate every moment & take from those moments everything you could possibly can for you may never be able to experience it again. Talk to people that you have never talked to before & actually listen... Let yourself fall in love again, break free, and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right too.
Tell yourself that you are a great individual & believe in yourself. For if you don't believe in yourself, it will be hard for others to believe in you. You can make your life anything you wish.....Create your own life & then go out & live it with absolutely NO REGRETS. Most importantly, if you love someone tell him or her, for you NEVER know what tomorrow may have in store. And learn a lesson in life each day you live.
Today is the tomorrow you were worried about yesterday.... Was it worth it?


I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would have shared more of the responsibility

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner." There would have been more "I love you's." More "I'm sorry's."

But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute...look at it and really see it .. live it .and never give it back. Stop sweating the small stuff.

Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what.

Instead, let's cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us.


1. Never raise your hands to your kids.
It leaves your groin unprotected.

2. I'm not into working out.
My philosophy is no pain, no pain.

3. I'm in shape. Round is a shape.

4. I'm desperately trying to figure out why Kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

5. Do you think illiterate people
get the full affect of alphabet soup?

6. I've always wanted to be somebody,
but I should have been more specific.

7. Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?

8. Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone
going faster than you is a maniac?

9. You have to stay in shape. My mother started walking five miles a day
when she was 60. She's 97 now and we have no idea where she is.

10. I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every
other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the
locks, they are always locking three of them.

11. One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends.
If they are OK, then it must be you.

12. They show you how detergent takes out bloodstains. I think if you've got a tee shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.

13. Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you
it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful,
but I only have photographs of her on the walls.

14. A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and
said, "Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?" I said, "I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too."

Words Speak

The most selfish 1 letter word - I - avoid it.

The most satisfying 2 letter word - We - use it.

The most poisonous 3 letter word - Ego - kill it.

The most used 4 letter word - Love - value it.

The most pleasing 5 letter word - Smile - keep it.

The fastest spreading 6 letter word - Rumour - ignore it.

The hardest working 7 letter word - Success - achieve it.

The most enviable 8 letter word - Jealousy - distance it.

The most powerful 9 letter word - Knowledge - acquire it.

The most essential 10 letter word - Confidence - trust it.

A New Begining

I've learned that we don't have to change friends,If we understand that friends change.

I've learned that something that you do in an instant, can give you heartache for life
I've learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words, it may be that last time you see them.

I've learned that we are responsiable for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I've learned that either you control your attitude, or it controls you
I've learned that my best friend and I , can do anything or nothing and still ahve a good time.

I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you are down, will be the one who helps you get up.

I've learned that sometimes when i am angry i have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them too, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

I've learned that maturity has more to do with what types of expirences you've had and what you learned from them, and less to do with how many years you have lived.

I've learned that it isin't always enough to be forgiven by others, but sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I've learned that just because two people argue, doesn't mean they don't love eachother. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do love eachother.

I've learned that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secrect, it may change you life forever.

I've learned that sometimes the people that you love most in lfe, are taken from you too soon.

I've learned that you can't make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved, and the rest is up to them.

I've learned that no matter how much i care, some people just dont care back.

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and just seconds to destroy it.

I've learned that it's not what you have in life, but who you have that counts.

I've learned that you can keep going, long after you think you can't.

I've learned that their are people who love you dearly, but just don't know how to show it.

I've learned that even when you feel you have no more to give, a friend cries out and you find the srenght to help.

I've learned that our backgrounds and circumstances may have influenced our lives, but we are responsiable for who we become

Ode To Pain

Oh passionate pain take me away

Strangle me in your glamorous way

Take my soul in your grace it vanishes anyway

Lead me, I know you won't betray

Oh passionate pain take me away

Laugh at my face when I start to get pale

Hurt me I know you want to play

Lead me wrong in this new born day

Oh passionate pain take me away

Twist me around push me to the edge of fail

Make me crumble and astray

Lead me till I loose all my faith .

Oh passionate pain take me away

Wrap me till I’m numb and plain

I can see my blood on your nails

Lead me, I start to feel how it was again.

Oh passionate pain take me away

Love me more and leave me less

Light my life with lonely

Lead me, take me, make me flyaway!

This poem is about wanting to feel something..because the worst is when you don't feel anything..you even take pain..just to be able to FEEL


I am the memory ! I am your past present and future! You may ask why?
Look there is the reason! I am the past because I am all the things you want to remember and you don't want to ! I am your present because you live from the things you did in the past! i am your future because you can't leave me no matter how hard you would try!
You may say I'm a bad thing .....yes but I can be a very nice thing to ! You need to go on with your life ! you can't go on with it till you are busy with forgetting me ! Me the memory can be denied but never deleted from your mind! maybe you shouldn't try to forget you should try to live with me!

So i go every day to your heart and soul visit them very carefully to see how much can i hurt you or how much can I make you happy! But at almost every time I open the door of your heart everything turns to dark in you ! You really want to get me out of your mind! You can't and that's why you are crying so much!

I dont understand..

This quote is exactly how i feel. every word of it...

It's sad when people you know become people you knew. when you can walk right past someone like they were never a big part of your life.
and how you used to be able to talk for hours, and now you can barely even look at them.
i dont understand how you can smile all day long but cry yourself to sleep at night.
how pictures never change, but the people in them do.
how you can love so innocently, but it can turn into anger so quickly.
how your best friend can become your worst enemy.
how when your worst enemy turns into your best friend.
how forever turns into a few short months that you'd do almost anything to get back.
how you can let go of something you once said you couldnt live without.
how even though you know letting go of something is best for you, it hurts just the same.
how the people who once wanted to spend every second with you, think a few minutes of their time is too much time to spare. how the smell of a person stays with you even when they're gone.
how people make promises, and bear their souls to someone despite knowing how common it is for promises to be broken.
how people can erase you ~ from their lives cause its just ~ easier then working things out.

Bonds of Our friendship !!!

There have been many times
that I'd lose grip and then fall,
And, you were there beside me
to help me rise above it all.
There have been many times
when I'd reach the end of end,
And, you inspired me
by giving hope to just start over again!

There have been times
when I had lost all that I had gained,
And, you brought me bright sunshine
to send away the rains.
There have been many times
that I'd just quit, giving all up,
And, you'd bring me a drink of renewal
from friendship's cup!

Then, all the times that I had been slipping
and sinking so fast,
You encouraged me to reach out
to grasp hope that would last.
As, I was spinning in frantic circles of chaos,
around and round,
You threw out the anchor
that placed me back on solid ground!

A World with just You and Me !

Life is just an endless circle
In which belonged a part to Me;
I cherished and took pride
Of a world with just You and Me.
Travelling alongside the other
With a tear and a smile to lend
And an always outstretched hand
Snapping away the strange strand.
So much of love shared
And so many assuring glances later
The circle gave a rotation
With You in some side And Me out of it.
There's so much to loose
So much to gain
Of a world with just You and Me
I can feel you drifting away
Promising a glee that's slipping away
I know I'm losing You,
And yet tend to wave at You,
With unexplainable emotions running through my head,
A tear escapes unnoticed.
With You gone - In a world with just You and Me.

A beautiful poem- I'm Malkul Maut (ANGEL OF DEATH)

It was early in the morning at four,
When death knocked upon a bedroom door.
Who is there? The sleeping one cried. >
I'm Malkul Maut, let me inside.

At once, the man began to shiver,
As one sweating in deadly fever,
He shouted to his sleeping wife,
Don't let him take away my life.
Please go away, O Angel of Death!
Leave me alone; I'm not ready yet.

My parents and family on me depends,
Give me a chance, O please prepense!
The angel knocked again and again,
Friend! I'll take your life without a pain,
This your soul Allah requires,
I come not with my own desires..

Bewildered, the man began to cry,
O Angel I'm so afraid to die,
I'll give you gold and be your slave,
Don't send me to the unlit grave.
Let me in, O Friend! The Angel said,
Open the door; get up from your bed,
If you do not allow me in,
I will walk through it, like a Jinn.

The man held a gun in his hand,
Ready to defy the Angel's stand..
I'll point my gun, towards your head,
You dare come in; I'll shoot you dead.
By now the Angel was in the room,
Saying, O Friend! Prepare for you doom.

Foolish man, Angels never die,
Put down your gun and do not sigh.
Why are you afraid! Tell me O man,
To die according to Allah's plan?
Come smile at me, do not be grim,
Be Happy, to return to Him.
O Angel! I bow my head in shame;

I had no time to take Allah's Name.
From morning till dusk, I made my wealth,
Not even caring for my own health.
Allah's command I never obeyed,
Nor five times a day I ever prayed.
Ramadan came and a Ramadan went,
But I had no time to repent.

The Hajj was already FARD on me,
But I would not part with my money.
All charities I did ignore,
Taking usury more and more.

Sometimes I sipped my favorite wine,
With flirting women I sat to dine...
O Angel! I appeal to you
Spare my life for a year or two.
The Laws of Quran I will obey,
I'll begin my SALAT this very day.

My Fast and Hajj, I will complete,
And keep away from self-conceit.
I will refrain from usury,
And give all my wealth to charity,
Wine and wenches I will detest,
Allah's oneness I will attest.

We Angels do what Allah demands,
We cannot go against His commands..
Death is ordained for everyone,
Father, mother, daughter or son.
I'm afraid this moment is your last,

Now be reminded, of your past,
Do understand your dreadful fears,
But it is now too late for your tears

You lived in this world, two score and more,
Never did to you, your people adore.
Your parents, you did not obey,
Hungry beggars, you turned away.

Your two ill-gotten, female offspring,
In nightclubs, for livelihood they sing.
Instead of making many more Muslims,
You made your children non-Muslims?
You did ignore the Mua'dhin Adhaan,
Nor did you read the Holy Quran.

Breaking promises all your life,
Backbiting friends, and causing strife
From hoarded goods, great profits you made,
And for your poor workers, you underpaid.
Horses and cars were your leisure,
Moneymaking was your pleasure.

You ate vitamins and grew more fat,
With the very sick, you never sat.
A pint of blood you never gave,
Which could a little baby save?

O Human, you have done enough wrong,
You bought good properties for a song.
When the farmers appealed to you,
You did not have mercy, tis true.

Paradise for you? I cannot tell,
Undoubtedly you will dwell in hell.
There is no time for you to repent,
I'll take your soul for which I am sent.
The ending however, is very sad,

Eventually the man became mad
With a cry, he jumped out of bed,
And suddenly, he fell down dead.

Take moral from here,
You never know, your end may be near
Change your living and make amends
For heaven, on your deeds depends.

If this poem inspires you,
It can help someone too.
At least take some time, and do not ban
And send it to as many people as you can.
This poem may change many lives,
And Allah may have for you a great surprise.

May Allah Forgive each and every sin we have done...AMEEN