BeInG mIsSeD

i have given this enough thought now; so much that i feel i'll go crazy if i don't make my next post here now. i have been thinking if i should already post my first story here, or what precisely is running through my head at the moment. i guess the second one has finally won :D

i don't remember when i last had a wonderful day at home. somehow, there's always a spoiler, and it always comes in a magnified way. my time on the net or phone or with books have been restricted for the zillionth time. secluded life, in a way :P i need res and keep myself wellt, is what i hear when i ask "why?"

rest is fine, but not at the cost of me not knowing what to do with every darn minute of my day :P sleeping, eating, writing now and then; i'm not really sure if i'm doing anything else. oh yea, thinking :P

my thoughts that i always rate as suicidal and dangerous to alarming extents, resurface now and then. and mid-way being caught up between 'em, i fall asleep.

but apart from all these, there have been a few things that make me smile a little and maybe, blush a little too ;) being missed has never meant so much till now. i keep wondering how i had grown so addicted to coming online, socialising, talking with a few treasured ones, and calling up a few others.. only now it is actually sinking in that, it is the same game being played at both sides of the court, afterall ;)

"i missed you sooOoooOoo much"

"can't wait to hear your voice. missing it lots !"

"time online is just not the same with no you around.."

.. and the likes ;) seriously, now and then it doesn't hurt to pamper the heart and mind with such statements from those that you love. well, "doesn't hurt" sure is an understatement :P
it feels like nothing else can matter more ! :)

smiling, blushing.. ahem ! ;)

at times, it's a pleasure, to be missed. and even more joy, to quietly rerun those conversations, feel loved, cared for, and pampered ! ;)

shh...!! it's a silent secret ! don't let 'em know. i'd have liked this "missing you" thing go on for a little longer but i guess nothing lasts FOREVER:'(