Thursday, September 30, 2010

An Angel - My Mom

Islam declares - the treatment of women in general and especially the high position mothers hold in Islam.

Amongst the clearest examples of Islam's honoring women is the great status of the mother in Islam. Islam commands kindness, respect and obedience to parents and specifically emphasizes and gives preference to the mother. Islam raises parents to a status greater than that found in any other religion or ideology.

The command to be good to one's parents begins right from the Qur'an. Allah says:

"Worship God and join not any partners with Him; and be kind to your parents..."

"M" is for the million things she gave me,
"O" means only that she's growing old,
"T" is for the tears she shed to save me,
"H" is for her heart of purest gold;
"E" is for her eyes, with love-light shining,
"R" means right, and right she'll always be,
Put them all together, they spell
"MOTHER,"A word that means the world to me.

If someone came to you today and offered you a free lunch, what would be your response? No doubt you would smile, speak kindly to them, and reserve a special place in your heart for their memory. Why is it then that our parents receive only cold stares, harsh words and bitter treatment and they are who they are in our lives? For Twenty or Thirty years they feed us, clothe us, wash us, and shower their mercy on our soft skin.Their love for us never dies even if we hurt them.They always protect and shield us.

We all have parents – whether they are with us or not – and many have not understood the severity of their position in our lives and their right to be respected and revered. Today I want to remind everyone of their true position may Allah have mercy on them all.

It seems to be pretty much a given that college students aren't very big fans of their parents. They give us unreasonable rules when we come home. They call too often. They pry into every detail of our lives.Even my mama does this and it irritated me so much sometimes but now as life has taught me its true meaning-what all I can say is sorry mama for thinking that you didn't really understand me.

You're not just my Mother but my best friend,you always wanted to be my friend but poor me that I couldn't value our friendship rather fooled myself with friendship of those who didn't know what friendship meant.

I cherish every moment we spend together,laughing and crying through the good times
and the bad whether we're just watching a movie or you're holding me while I cry.Mama you always catch me when i lie and say that i really m fine.How can you see the sadness behind my eyes?How can you feel that I need you badly when I try to hide the pain,the tears,the loneliness.How could you find the truth hidden in me when I succeed in giving you a smile though a fake one as I'm suffocating to vent out the pain and cry as hard as I can.You hug me and I burst crying.How do you understand that I require your precious hug?

You always assure me it'll be all right,things will get well. Everything will be sorted.You act so strong but I know you became strong for me when deep inside you feel so weak.It all means so much to me.you've always loved me unconditionally
and encouraged me to do the best with my life.You always guided me but I felt short to reach your expectations but I promise now to lead my life as per your guidance your expectations,your wishes.

You've been by my side through every victory and every heartache.You're always there
when I need you most and I am so grateful to have a Mom like you.This not only I feel for You but even your son feels.

Mama I don't say it aloud but I love you so much.You truly are an ANGEL.I am sorry for everything I did that hurt you.Though I couldn't explain you the things that were misinterpreted to you.I couldn't explain anything to you.I know I have hurt you and but I know that you still trust me and I assure you that I wont ever let your trust and faith in me go astray.I promise You that I will prove every single person wrong who presented a different me before you.I swear by Allah that i won't spare the person who was responsible to bring a tear in your eyes or will even think to do that mistake.

How do I tell you the love I have for you
All my life you have been there for me
When I was hurt you mended the scratches
And when I was sad, you held me upon your knee.

I cannot even begin to tell you
All the wonderful deeds for me you have done
The love and care that only you could do

Mom, I owe everything to you;
Your smile,your blessings,your caring and love,
You have molded me,protected me till now and you will do it ever
And I thank the Allah above..

God bless you, Mom!!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Allow Your Life - To Move On

You cannot change or control the past. What matters is now. You are creating your future in this moment. What do you want your future to be full of pain and hurt? Go from this moment forward and deliberately create the life you desire and deserve.Don't let the ones who destroyed you to effect you at all.
“Walking, working, barely breathing
My thoughts, far away
Heart aching, mind racing
Sleep does not come easily, nor last long...”

I have seen a lot now.The hurt pain at this age has left me shattered.No sort of enjoyment in life seem to trigger the happiness overshadowed by the hidden pain.Sleepless nights artificially turned into nights full of comfort and sleep by the use of sleeping pills that can help you forget the deadly pain by letting you fall asleep but harm your body mechanism in the long run. Ah! sometimes nightmares and dreams even counter the effect of pills and keep you awake whole time.Fed up of this routine.Please Allah help me I'm too young for all this.Either relive my pain or snatch my breath.It is becoming harder and harder to live a new day.Help me To give a start to a new life at least help me to try.
"God can heal a broken heart, but He has to have all the pieces."

Rightly said “Sadness flies away on the wings of time.”I just can sit and hope till it really takes place.
Welcome to a new life - a life truly meant for you where you can enjoy each and every moment of being yourself.A life where your wishes and dreams have the highest priority than others pain and sufferings.A life which encourages you when you fail and fall down.A life where only you and your family and some of your true friend hold the importance.A life where you have now started believing in yourself rather than the ones who pretend to be yours but in reality are the selfish folk,who only care for themselves and would enjoy your company till you are a source of joy for them and when you are in pain they shut the doors of their heart.A life which has taught you a lot and groomed you for a fresh start - A NEW LIFE.

I’m someone who’s beginning this journey for an overall change in ME.Our journey is never ending, but as long as we keep moving forward, we’re heading in the right direction. It’s only when we lock on to past events and hold on to them that we stop dead in our tracks.This is essentially, what happened to me. I was stuck in the pain as many of us are.I was out of control, very upset, and crying. I remember screaming that I know that there’s this other presence inside of me just trying to get out.

I continue to say, I know that I’m supposed to feel different. I know that I’m supposed to be more than I am. I know that things aren’t supposed to be this way. I know that there’s more to us than we show. But at that time, I really didn’t understand just what is actually going on.I wasn’t in a place yet where I was ready even to try to understand the conflict I was feeling.But I also didn’t let it go. I kept trying to figure out just what was going on inside because I knew that somehow it would lift me out of this. And at that time that’s all I wanted.

It took me a while to understand what was driving me, exactly what that internal presence was. As I worked on discovering what I was feeling, I began to keep myself busy in a way away from all those things that were a cause of that pain or you can say I tried to isolate myself not only from those who were responsible for my destruction but also from my nears and dears i.e from my true self who ones loved to be cheerful,with friends and all the things that a normal person enjoys that doesn't mean I suffer from a mental disorder..lol

I was locked in a battle with ego and my authentic self or spiritual self. My authentic self wanted to escape the the hurt and the “if only” that dominated my entire life. While ego wanted to stay in charge and keep things status quo. Because that’s what ego does. One moment my authentic self or spiritual self would be in charge and I’d feel some inkling of hope. The next ego would be back in charge running the show and all I felt was deep despair.

I guess this battle will rage on for some time until I finally completely understand what is going on. I am literally stuck in the pain unable to let go of the “if only.” Once I realize this, I will surely begin looking for a way to free myself of the past(full of pain,hurt). That’s when I will discover a completely new approach to life.

Keeping in mind that this stuff won't happen overnight.This is a process and it takes as long as you choose for it to. It’s not magic it’s real discovery. Things can’t happen until you allow them to. Until you choose to make the connection with your Source and free yourself of the self-limiting beliefs that hold you back.

So if you’re ready to make and maintain a connection to your Higher Source and free yourself of the past so that you can move forward and take your life in a completely new direction you’re in the right place.Hope this helps me & you too ;)

“Lost in your heart, lost in your eyes
Lost every day, no map to follow
Entire days, weeks, a blur
Flickers of light, in the darkness,
Only to be enveloped in shadows once more”

Missing Someone Hurts

"Absence from whom we love is worse than death, and frustrates hope severer than despair"

When milestone days approach, a holiday, a birthday or deathday, do your emotions tumble downhill as you struggle with lonely, depressing efforts to hold back your feelings? Is the one you really loved no more with you, or did he or she pass away, yet you hunger and yearn for whom is missing? Do you have to push away painful memories just to get through the day and that takes all your concentration and energy? The pain of heartbreak can be acute and overwhelming. Your grief keeps you focused on the pain when you think about them. Maybe after fifty years you only remember the day someone died or your first love's face as he left you. The grief blocks all the good memories that lie beneath waiting.

You have memories of these people that are yours to enjoy, too. If you can just get past the grief, even temporarily, you might recapture lost moments of joy.

Take tonight to be alone and set the stage for memories of someone who was once precious, but is now missing. Lighten your dark life, get out the worn photos, drop the fake smile from your face....finally, and allow yourself to really feel the pain. Step into the murky water of your tears and despair and wail and cry, for say, ten minutes. Then, take the next ten minutes to crank up some rhythmic music and express the pain physically. Boldly and wildly move your body in an expression of your hurt.Next, gradually change the dance to a joyful or silly one, like the chicken dance ;) The physical efforts release brain chemicals. Hopefully, no one is watching this cathartic gig but if someone is, explain that you dance for your health or you are trying a new dance step but why to explain give them a disgusted look for questioning you.Hahaha(lol) turn into a complete freak.

Grief held inside is poison. The act of grieving is about releasing the toxic thoughts and physical ramifications of those thoughts. Faking it, smiling when you could split apart in pain or pretending you do not care is not fooling your organs. Get the pent up rage, despair, guilt or envy out of you. Just talking about it or ignoring it will not release grief as well as the Broken heart Stomp. The change from a grieving movement to a happier movement will send a powerful signal to the mind that you are trying to recover from grief.

Purging grief is a detox cleanse that allows you to recover joy and balance to your mind and gut. You NEVER have to stop feeling love and longing for what you miss, but you need to periodically fall back deeply into your sadness, feel terrible and then release it quickly just like a cramp in your foot. When the pain begins to build up, try shaking it out and then laugh loudly long before you sincerely feel happy. Our bodies respond to the emotion we act out, so act out a joyful dance.Sometimes laughing hard makes you to cry your heart out.Certain moment of joy turns into sadness but I hope one day i will cope up with it.

Loving someone - even if it does not last - can become a source of experience and strength to treasure, if you learn to release the grief regularly. Grief can last years, but your nervous system needs a break frequently. The Heartbreak Stomp may shorten the pain by grieving the feelings out just a bit while you laugh at your antics. Take this opportunity to remember the good and bask for a bit in positive memories of having loved someone dearly. Eventually, the pain will go and the good memories will heal your heart and last forever(Hope they do soon).

Saturday, September 25, 2010

The Biggest Mistake

Sometimes we fall in love unexpectedly with someone we shouldn't be in love with. The love we had for them keeps us happy yet miserable. It is hard to cope with one-sided love. Loving is like breathing. Sometimes people wonder if something is not theirs, why did it come to their way? And parting with that thing forever is not easy. Loving someone who is the love of your life is like changing the life you love and it so happens that this person is never meant to appear in your life and the biggest mistake you can ever make...

I was often bullied but because I was patient, I had always considered that being bullied was just a small test from God. It was just to test the limit of my patience. Was being patient a mistake? Sometimes, if I think back, it was really a mistake. Some of my friends put all the blame on me when they were at fault. I would never argue back or voiced out my anger because I was too patient, too timid and scared to lose the friendship I had with them. But in the end, I had to let go of that friendship. I can take any blame they want, but I can never agree that I had 'purposely' snatched someone's happiness. I refused to take that blame yet they see me as one. Because of that, I had lost everything. I had to swallow my pride and held my head high each time. It feels, everywhere I went, everyone was whispering behind my back, saying how cruel, how bad I was. I lost my self-confidence forever. I will never get it back again. Once lost, forever gone.

I'm spending time, living in hurt and insults. I closed the doors of my heart and turned into a very cold person. I trust nobody. My trust was limited. Those who deserved it were a few of my true friends, the ones that really stuck close with me when no one believed me. I stopped talking to everyone I knew, even if they pretended that they care, I started ignoring almost everyone completely. They were complete strangers to me. Treating others this way never brought me the old happiness I yearned for. Actually, I did not know who I was. I put on a fake smile and laugh but it never made me feel any better. It was not me anymore no matter how hard I tried to be who I was in the past. I wished I had lost my memory. I didn’t like living like this. It was too cruel. I felt I had only myself to be blamed. I hated myself to the core. The enemy I had was me. In the end, the only thing I could do was to get myself busy with my studies and shifted all my top priorities to my family. I told myself, I was living for myself, my dreams and my family. As long as I stuck to that thinking, I won't be too hurt. I will eventually forget my horrible past.

I began to live in the world of darkness, never smile, giving everyone cold shoulders and everyone thought I was arrogant. I admit. I was arrogant. I was badly hurt and insulted and that was the only way I could stop hurting myself and hating myself.Even my friends began to realize that I was not myself anymore. They were much sadder with the new me. Slowly, I was learning to step out from my darkness. I had so much of everything now but i had some of the memories that didn't let me to move on.I had started to live as someone who has no memories but those memories I have to forgo them. Those memories contained the happiness I felt, and the feeling of being ‘Somebody's Me’ . I cannot bear to let it go. I don't want to live with no memories. It is too empty, too painful.

Each time I wanted to forget whatever happened to me,whatever caused me pain,whoever hurt me and left me bruised but everything will always appear in my memory once again. If I had not been a fool, I wouldn't have... No if had not cared so much...it wouldn't have.... No, if I had not started believing...i wouldn't have got hurt No, maybe if I had not allowed myself to trust, things wouldn't have turned out like this. Sometimes I wondered: if this happiness was not mine, why did it come to my way? Why did it have to appear and then go away? I would not have started in the first place if I knew it was turning like this.
Love is a mistake. It was the biggest mistake. It was my biggest regret.

Why do we get hurt by those we love?

You know the old saying "you always hurt those you love," well why is the person that you love the most the one that causes you the most pain? emotional pain, that is.Is it because we feel that we have so much to lose? or do we just fall for the wrong person? I just don't understand this at all.Why do we allow ourselves to be put down and let down, over and over again? I'm not just speaking in defense of the women, I know plenty of men who have been hurt too and I just don't understand why we let it get to that point.

I think that one big thing that's a factor is that all too often people love other people that don't love them back. You see this in relationships all the time. They like them a lot and all that, but they don't love them. The girl may love the guy but he only likes her or visa versus. When you have that, the person that loves is opening themselves to get hurt, and sometimes hurt very badly. The reason is because the loving person's expectations of the other one is much too high, so when they let them down it's usually a shock and it hurts them deeply to be offended that way. When you truly love someone that love raises to the spiritual level because love is eternal so it's something you'll never forget. Loving someone forms a bond with them that you don't expect to be broken, so when they do something that breaks that bond and mutual trust it causes a great beak in trust. When you've trusted and cared for another person even more than yourself and have made sacrifices for them, it's a terrific let down to see them turning their backs on you. None of this happens when you don't love a person. Only a person in love can be hurt this way and this much. That's why we get hurt by the ones we love. Because that person has let you down when they've led you to believe that they loved you just as much as you loved them and that they'd always be there for you, but not they're not.

There could be many possibilities to why this happens. Generally, the ones we love the most are the ones that hurt us the most. It because we love them, care for them, trust him. Its like that saying goes.Love is giving someone your heart, an trust them not to break it. Once that trust is broken we become weak and vulnerable.
It depends on the situation .If someone has been hurt then they need time to heal. They need time to get over it, work through it, to the point of it not existing anymore. When someone gets hurt who hasn't full excepted the pain and moved on and then gets hurt once again. The same old pain that was once there gets doubled up. Some goes for relationship if you get out of one bad relationship and go right into another one with out fully getting over the pain and hurt from the previous one. then the cycle continues.
We need time, we need space, we need room to be able to let go of the people, the pain that once hurt us before we can move forward.
Love has a way of breaking our walls that we put up to protect us. Once those walls come down-we are open for pain and hurt. It sucks but that's life.

LoVe YoUrSeLf...

Sometimes we carry a sense of entitlement that makes us believe that other people owe us, that they are somehow responsible for our happiness. If we are sad, they need to give us support. If we are lonely, they should keep us company. If we are in a relationship, our mates are supposed to protect us from pain. They should be sorry when we are mad and attentive when we are sad. They should promise that no matter what happens, they would never hurt us. These are impossible expectations.

Although it is normal and self-respecting to want others to treat you well, in the end it is your responsibilty to take care of yourself. If you are in a situation in which you aren't being treated with respect, it is upto you to remove yourself from that situation. There is a fine line between being taken advantage of and letting youself be taken advantage of.

Unrealistic expectations always end up hurting you. The more you believe others owe you, the sadder you are when they don't deliver. The "If they loved me, they would do this and wouldn't do that" game is a setup for heartache. If you are able to say to yourself, "It is my job to be happy. It is my job take care of myself, to be healthy, and to give myself the things I need," then you are owning your power to be happy or not.

You can't make rules in relationships to ensure that you never get hurt. You can't leave it up to someone else to make sure that you are happy. If you do so you will end up feeling disappointed and sometimes even brokenhearted. But you can take responsibility for your own happiness. You can be sure that you don't end up in the position of the victim. You do this by acknowledging whose job is it to take care of you --- yours. You do this by putting yourself in situations that are healthy, with people who are good to you and who understand friendship and commitment. When you find yourself unhappy, you look at your circumstances and figure our what you can do to change them. This is what it means to take responsibility for your happiness, and this is one way you can begin showing yourself the love you deserve.

Please Leave Me Alone

During sleepless night i pretend that past isn't real ,it brings back how i used to feel ..So much sadness in my hopeless life , never knew things would change so fast .. You're not here , and i'm alone , trying to run away from this pain that has grown so deep ..I feel so empty now that you're gone ,there's so much pain,eyes full of tears ! I feel like crying and dying every second ..This one's for you and these words aren't brand new ,tough it's coming from the heart ..Thank you for the life you've given me ,thank you for the hope! I'm finely free you'll always be in mind ..Cross my heart and hope to die ...I never will forget you , i can't go without you , i hope this wish will come true ...During sleepless nights and endless dreams ! These words inside my heart stay in there till we're apart ,feel these tears coming in my eye's , i try not to cry ..I'll try this shooting pain in my eye's , can't hold it anymore ..You're gone !! You walked away , now I'm colder than the ocean breeze , now you're to far gone ..Please stay with me , i promise myself i would not cry ..Then a silent tear falls from my eye ,you're the only place i can put myself ..No hopes or dream, can fill my tumbling days ,after you're gone ..Day after day and slowly go insane , i hear you're voice , if i see you next to never , how can we say forever ? whenever you go , i will be right here waiting for you , what ever it takes ,and now my heart breaks ..I hear the laughter , i taste the tears ..I wonder how we can survive , this romance , but in the end if I'm with you ,I'll take the chance ..I wonder for a moment if this is all a dream , to watch you leaving ..Is to know that I've lost my place on earth ..Long ago i was free , where did all the time go ? And i will finally have to let go , this memory will be in my heart forever , i will say goodbye to you , but not forever , only for now !!!!!!

Monday, September 20, 2010

Quit Jammu and Kashmir Campaign

• for complete demilitarization of Jammu and Kashmir.
• reiterate the call for the right to self-determination for the people of Jammu and Kashmir as was promised by Jawaharlal Nehru
Subsequently, the movement has degenerated into a cycle of violence, with continued street protests, stone pelting and police firing, and several people, mostly youth, losing their lives as a result. Due to the deaths of several teenagers during the 2010 protests, the year 2010 has been marked as the year of teenage killing in Kashmir.
Aim of the Movement
Kashmir conflict remains one of the oldest unresolved disputes in the world. India's position is that Kashmir is an integral part of India, while the people of Indian Administered Kashmir and the Pakistan's maintain that Kashmir is a disputed territory whose final status must be determined by the people of Jammu and Kashmir and Indian Forces are occupying the state unlawfully. The basic aims of movements are as under:
1. Complete Demilitarization
2. Plebiscite under UN Auspices
Suppression Of The Movement
a. Curfews, Arrests and Killings
b. Media Censorship(Print And Electronic Media, Gag On SMS Services,Crackdown On E-Protestors)

Why Are Kashmiris victimized?
a. Model Tariq Ahmad Dar's career came to an abrupt end on September 16 2006 in Bangladesh, when he was picked up on the suspicion that he was a RAW agent. Deported to India after languishing in a Dhaka jail, Tariq didn’t really win his freedom.He landed in Delhi only to be arrested again, this time by the special cell of Delhi Police for his alleged links with the Lashkar-e-Toiba.In less than two months, from being a face that dominated hoardings and commercials in Bangladesh, Tariq was accused of human trafficking, spying for India and a terror conduit across two nations.
b. Many more stories like him, A 19-year -old youth, Basharat Bashir, was all set to fly to Spain for the soccer training, but the news of denial of passport has crushed his dreams. Bashir was among the 11 players selected by International Sports Academy Trust (ISAT) for training in Spain, but was dropped at the last moment because of non availablitiy of passport. Denial of the passport because his father was a militant, Why should a son suffer due to his father? Why should he be denied the passport, and hurdles put in his way?
c. Parvez Rasool wrongly detained in banglore.
d. 8 year old sameer who was going to his uncles house was killed…His fault?

'Azadi’ for Kashmir!

It has been 63 years since the Indian troops landed in Srinagar. Since then India has been murdering its commitments made to the people of Kashmir. In reply to the Accession offer of Maharaja Hari Singh, the then Governor General of India, Mountbatten had said,
"As soon as law and order have been restored in Kashmir and her soil cleared of the invader, the question of the state's accession should be settled by a reference to the people”. After that Jawaharlal Nehru had said, in the Parliament of India, that Plebiscite for Kashmiris would be held at any cost, even if it meant modification of Indian constitution. But India continued to shy away from these commitments. In the process, it has been strengthening its presence in Kashmir. But it has not been able to integrate the people of Kashmir with Indian mainstream. Bullets, ballots or coffers nothing has worked for India.

We all protest...

Do you all agree that there are human rights violations in Kashmir? Are not you and your political colleagues yet satisfied with a hundreds of people killed? Kashmir issue: we have lost nearly 100 thousand lives, hundreds of our sisters & mothers have been molested, thousands exiled and thousands are missing. What is the solution? We had dialogue in the past, it failed (as always).
The present crisis in Kashmir is something very much fragile and deep rooted in nature. And it is high time that the leaders of India understand the ground situation and make their nation aware of the same.
It should be noted that the demands of the people of Kashmir are not ‘new’ neither something which the Indian leaders have never talked about. When Jawahar Lal Nehru visited Kashmir on November 2nd,1947, he addresses a mammoth public meeting in the Red Square saying, “We have declared that the fate of Kashmir is ultimately to be decided by the people.
Indian Leaders live in a fools paradise and force themselves to believe that Kashmiris are happy to be a part of India. If that is the case then why don’t they carry out a plebiscite under UN supervision giving Kashmiris the options of continuing with India, acceding to Pakistan or staying Independent. Infact this is actually what a common Kashmiri wants. Let India check its status in Kashmir and fulfil the promise of its first Prime Minister and apply the UN resolutions. By doing that each and every issue pertaining Kashmir will be resolved forever. On contrary to this, Indian leaders proclaim Kashmir to be an integral part of India when history itself is testimony that it never was. They just want to bombard it on Kashmiris and anyone seen opposing it openly is either put behind bars by hammering PSA on him or brutally killed. If Indian leaders think that they can make Kashmiris forget the mass massacre of Kashmirs, brutality and injustice done to commoners and the plunder of the honour and dignity of Kahmiri women, by giving Kashmiris especially the youth various economic and employment packages, then let them know that Kashmiris even after more than 1000 years have not forgot nor forgiven the oppressors.

History Behind Kashmir's Possesion

Resolution adopted at the meeting of the United Nations Commission for India and Pakistan on 5 January, 1949.
The question of the accession of the State of Jammu and Kashmir to India or Pakistan will be decided through the democratic method of a free and impartial plebiscite. According to the resolution, there shall be freedom of the Press, speech and assembly and freedom of travel in the State, including freedom of lawful entry and exit;
(c) All political prisoners are released;
(d) Minorities in all parts of the State are accorded adequate protection; and
(e) There is no victimization.
The reality of the 'accession' instrument

1. India over the years has considered Kashmir as its integral part and has legitimized its rule over the region by claiming that maharaja Hari Singh, the last dogra ruler of the state signed the instrument of accession, an alleged document which India itself defends with. Few months back a similar statement was given by the Ministry Of External Affairs saying that the entire state of Jammu and Kashmir which existed before 14th of august 1947 is an integral part of India by virtue of its accession with India, India over the years has used the alleged instrument of accession to its greatest advantage in the United Nations and similar other platforms and justified its occupation over a Muslim majority state. But the core question is whether any such document has ever been signed by the last ruler of Jammu and Kashmir? The sequence of series of events at the time of partition does not seem to suggest so. Had there been really any such document in possession of the Indian government, India would have surely used it on various international platforms to legitimize its rule over the state.
2. India long before achieving the independence had laid out its future plans for the state of Jammu and Kashmir. It was on these lines that the prime minister of Jammu and Kashmir, pandit R.C.KAK, who was thought to favour, if not accession to Pakistan but atleast an independent state of Jammu and Kashmir was removed from the office and replaced by a more pro-Indian prime minister, M.C.Mahajan. Kak being removed from his office a year later which again was very critical in shaping the future of the state of Jammu and Kashmir. The removal of Prime Minister R.C.Kak further reinforced the Kashmir dispute.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010


What is freedom?
FREEDOM=AZADI a small Kashmiri child will answer you .We want Kashmir to live and breath freely.We want Kashmir free from troopers.We want Kashmir free from sufferings.

I was wondering As to why Kashmiris are treated worldwide as TERRORISTS?Terrorism means indulging in an unlawful violence and war...Now whom do you call a terrorist INDIAN TROOPS or PROTESTERS who are just demanding their rights in the name of freedom without the use of weapons ? If we protest for Peace are we law breakers?Are we terrorists if we raise voice,show anger because our brothers and sisters are being martyred because they are brave enough to face the bullets for raising their voice?
Indian Forces in Kashmir are known for various human rights abuses including fake encounters, killings of dozens of innocent youth, sexual violence against women, destruction of property and exploitation of the region's natural resources.This is the reason today every youth is on street demanding AZADI.We always have been betrayed by the Government of India which failed to fulfill it's promises.

The protests going on for the past three months are a strategy by which we assert the demand of the right of self-determination.
We aren't killing the innocent souls.We aren't responsible of any uncertainty in INDIA or anywhere in the WORLD-then why are we always THE SUSPECTS.Kashmiri youth living in a so called democratic country India- why is he deployed of his rights?Even the simple rights he used to enjoy have been snatched away-Gag On SMS Services,Crackdown On E-Protestors etc.

The civic Lessons in our childhood taught us to PROTEST in order to reach the world.Who does not want to live in a place where one is free to move & express.If we are the part of ongoing PROTESTS demanding freedom what's wrong in that.We wouldn't have done it ,if we'd have every right to live & breathe properly.Troopers are for our safety what if we don't feel safe in their hands? wat should we do,just sit and watch our sister being molested,sit quiet because our brother is beaten to death.Its height now about 88 killings in past 3 months and the process of killing continues.The stories of the martyred bring tears to my eyes.Some of them werent even the part of the PROTESTS.Some too young to understand the word AZADI.Some the lone bread earners of their family.Some peeping through the window to see the ongoing clashes.

What was their fault that they received bullets they just were asking for a better KASHMIR.How can we simply GIVE UP after bidding goodbye forever to 88 lives.Its the anger of the youth thats coming out.How can anyone stay quiet and watch so many youngsters -dead taken to graveyard.Kashmir(God forbid) will soon be the largest graveyard..Its not a movie that one gets emotional and after 3 hrs of concentration forgets the story...the real stories are behind every tear shed by a kashmiri.

.In these three months we have seen so much of pain,loss.We have been traumatized
We don't want to be a part of India or Pakistan - we just want freedom-We want our own identity as was promised to us-we want KASHMIR to live and progress.We dont want to be suppressed or ruled over.We want PEACE..
We demand a new KASHMIR -A Better One
I PROTEST because I want FREEDOM..I PROTEST and I dont want to PROTEST in future~

Monday, September 13, 2010


i'm sorry i have to tell you this.
i'm breaking up with you.
i'm sick of people talking shit about me
it's all because of you.
i'm starting over.
i don't wanna be that girl they talk about anymore.
the girl who seemed unbreakable is finally starting to break
the one who seemed so strong its crumbling apart
the one who always laughs it off is constantly crying
the girl who would never give up, finally quit trying
the one with tons of friends;
i regret the things i've done
i don't want to be known for them anymore.
i miss the old me;
when i didn't have a problem
with wearing a matching outfit with my mommy;
when girls weren't so damn cruel..
when best friends weren't split up
when a smile came easily to my face.
I don't know what to do anymore,
nothing feels the same,
I never see a smile in the mirror,
I only see pain,
pain beneath my soul,
so deep inside of me
there is no escaping it,
no coming back to a normal state of mind,
there's nothing I can do anymore.
i'm tired of you ruining my life.
i'm sick of you.
so here's my goodbye to you, reputation.
i'll miss you forever
The thing is
I'm not worth the sorrow
And if you come and
Meet me tomorrow
I will hold you down
Fold you in
Deep, deep, deep
In the fiction we live

Thursday, September 2, 2010

NO promises

Hey baby, when we are together, doing things that we love.
Every time you're near I feel like I’m in heaven, feeling high
I don’t want to let go, girl.
I just need you to know girl.

I don’t wanna run away, baby you’re the one I need tonight,
No promises.
Baby, now I need to hold you tight, I just wanna die in your arms

Here tonight

Hey baby, when we are together, doing things that we love.
Everytime you're near I feel like I’m in heaven, feeling high
I don’t want to let go, girl.
I just need you to know girl.

I don’t wanna run away, baby you’re the one I need tonight,
No promises.
Baby, now I need to hold you tight, I just wanna die in your arms

I don’t want to run away, I want to stay forever, through Time and Time..
No promises

I don’t wanna run away, I don’t wanna be alone
No Promises
Baby, now I need to hold you tight, now and forever my love

No promises

I don’t wanna run away, baby you’re the one I need tonight,
No promises.
Baby, now I need to hold you tight, I just wanna die in your arms

I don’t wanna run away, baby you’re the one I need tonight,
No promises.
Baby, now I need to hold you tight, I just wanna die in your arms
Here tonight.

Aaj Kyun Teri Yaad Aayi

Aaj Kyun Aankh Bhar Aayi
Aaj Kyun Teri Yaad Aayi
Teri Yaad Aayi
Aaj Kyun Teri Yaad Aayi
Teri Yaad Aayi

Apne Haathon Ki Lakeeron Se
Tera Naam Mitaa Ke
Tere Chehre Ko, Apne Dil Ke
Aiiney Se Hata Ke

Aaj Kyun Aankh Bhar Aayi
Aaj Kyun Teri Yaad Aayi
Teri Yaad Aayi

Tu Har Ghari Har Din
Mere Saath Rehta Hai
Kehta Hai Paagal Mann
Pyaar Aisa Hota Hai

Shaam Aayi
Dard Laayi

Aaj Kyun Aankh Bhar Aayi
Aaj Kyun Teri Yaad Aayi
Teri Yaad Aayi

Mere Aansu Tum Ko Kabhi
Deewana Sa Karte They
Voh Bhi Din They Jab Tum
Dharkan Mein Rehte They

Seh Na Paaye
Yeh Judaayi

Aaj Kyun Aankh Bhar Aayi
Aaj Kyun Teri Yaad Aayi
Teri Yaad Aayi

Rehte Ho Tum Nahi
Mere Pass Nahi Aate Ho
Mujhe Jaan Kar Bhi Tum
Anjaan Se Guzar Jaate Ho

Laut Aayi
Yeh Tanhaayi

Aaj Kyun Aankh Bhar Aayi
Aaj Kyun Teri Yaad Aayi
Teri Yaad Aayi
Teri Yaad Aayi

A silent prayer to Allah

O Allah! Please grant me one Who will be the garment for my soul Who will satisfy half of my deen And in doing so make me whole Make him righteous and on your path In all he'll do and say And sprinkle water on me at Fajr Reminding me to pray May he earn from halal sources And spend within his means May he seek Allah's guidance always To fulfill all his dreams May he always refer to Qur'an and the Sunnah as his moral guide May he thank and appreciate Allah For the woman at his side May he be conscious of his anger And often fast and pray Be charitable and sensitive In every possible way May he honor and protect me And guide me in this life And please Allah! Make me worthy to be his loving wife And finally, O Allah! Make him abundant in love and laughter In taqwa and sincerity In striving for the hereafter...Ameen

U hurt me more than wat i deserve..... It is just because i loved you more than wat you deserved

If I could catch a rainbow
I would do it just for you.
And share with you it's beauty
On the days you're feeling blue.
If I could build a mountain ...
You could call your very own.
A place to find serenity
A place to be alone.
If I could take your troubles
I would toss them in the sea.
But all these things I'm finding are impossible for me,
I cannot build a mountain
Or catch a rainbow fair
But let me be...what I know best,a friend that's always there


For what you don't know,
Is killing me inside.
For what you didn't do,
Is what I need to confide.
My feelings for you haven't just vanished into the night,
For it is your hand I wish to hold tight.
Sad emotions enter my mind, Searching for answers,
still longing to find.
Commitment was the word we did not say,
That's why this heart is fading away

He may not love me today,tomorrow, or ever, but I will love him until it kills me, and, even then, he 'll be in my heart....FOREVER

Nobody knows its empty
this smile that i wear...
the real one is left in the past
because u hav left me there...♥!!♥

Nobody knows i m crying
they wont see even my tears...
when they think thai i m laughing
i'm still wishing u were here... ♥!!♥

Nobody knows it's painful
they think that i m strong...
they say that this wont kill me
but i wander if they were wrong... ♥!!♥

Nobody knows i m praying
that u will change my mind...
they think that i let u go
when u left me behind... ♥!!♥

Nobody knows i miss u
they think i feel set free...
but i feel like i m bound with chains
trapped in the mystery... ♥!!♥

Nobody knows i need u
they say that i can do it my own...
" they dont know i m crying"
when i m aloneeeee....♥!!♥

This Girl...Is Me !

She Has Secrets You'll Never Know Or Understand,
She Appears So Strong On The Outside,
But On The Inside Her World Is Spinnin Upside Down.
Shes Smiling And Standing Tall 2 The Outta World,
Shes Crying And Breaking Down In Her Inner World.

She Appears So Happy 2 Her Mates,But Alone,
She Shares Her Tears With Her Pillow.
She Knows Not 2 Get Her Hopes Up,
As They Always Come Crashing Down.
She hass Heard It All Before & Felt It All.

She has Experienced More Then Her Fair Share.
1 Touch, & She'll Flinch
1 Harsh, Word & She'll Cry
1 Bad Moment, & She'll Break Down

She Trusts No1,
Because The People She Has,
Hurt Her &
Leave Her
2 Pick Up The Pieces
She Believes No1,
Because The People She Has,
Lied & Betrayed Her.
So For Now She'll Keep 2 Herself & Pretend Everything Is Fine,
When Everything Is Wrong

I Know This Girl,
Because This Girl...Is Me !!

The best thing about me is you.

As I gazed into your eyes -something inside me forever changed...
You laid there by my side and gave me a smile
that tore down the walls surounding my Heart.

I found what I'd been looking for all along..
that magic feeling I could never have before.
I felt you there.. beside me.. taking my hand in yours..

When the tears faded away and I came to my senses -You gave me a promise
I'd been dying to hear since the moment we met...
You Told me that we'll always be together..
Time and space ceased to be..
Our threads of fate became one..

All the pain, doubt and fear in the world would not keep us apart..
Not anymore..
If I'd have died right then and there in your arms
it wouldn't matter..
It still would have been the happiest momentof my life..

Death is only death.. and you.. are so much more.
But then something happened..
The dream ended..
I was forced to open my eyes only to realize..
that I had lost you once again..

I had returned back to reality - along with the sad shards of my broken Heart..
The torment of nothingness inside me caused greif unlike any other..
And still..
I wouldn't trade that one moment of true happieness..
for anything..
even if it was just a dream..
Though just a pleasent illusion - the time we shared together felt real enough to me..
And that's why I love the nightly darkness so..
For I can't wait to close my eyes.. fall asleep once more.. and find you there again.