Sunday, September 26, 2010

Allow Your Life - To Move On

You cannot change or control the past. What matters is now. You are creating your future in this moment. What do you want your future to be full of pain and hurt? Go from this moment forward and deliberately create the life you desire and deserve.Don't let the ones who destroyed you to effect you at all.
“Walking, working, barely breathing
My thoughts, far away
Heart aching, mind racing
Sleep does not come easily, nor last long...”

I have seen a lot now.The hurt pain at this age has left me shattered.No sort of enjoyment in life seem to trigger the happiness overshadowed by the hidden pain.Sleepless nights artificially turned into nights full of comfort and sleep by the use of sleeping pills that can help you forget the deadly pain by letting you fall asleep but harm your body mechanism in the long run. Ah! sometimes nightmares and dreams even counter the effect of pills and keep you awake whole time.Fed up of this routine.Please Allah help me I'm too young for all this.Either relive my pain or snatch my breath.It is becoming harder and harder to live a new day.Help me To give a start to a new life at least help me to try.
"God can heal a broken heart, but He has to have all the pieces."

Rightly said “Sadness flies away on the wings of time.”I just can sit and hope till it really takes place.
Welcome to a new life - a life truly meant for you where you can enjoy each and every moment of being yourself.A life where your wishes and dreams have the highest priority than others pain and sufferings.A life which encourages you when you fail and fall down.A life where only you and your family and some of your true friend hold the importance.A life where you have now started believing in yourself rather than the ones who pretend to be yours but in reality are the selfish folk,who only care for themselves and would enjoy your company till you are a source of joy for them and when you are in pain they shut the doors of their heart.A life which has taught you a lot and groomed you for a fresh start - A NEW LIFE.

I’m someone who’s beginning this journey for an overall change in ME.Our journey is never ending, but as long as we keep moving forward, we’re heading in the right direction. It’s only when we lock on to past events and hold on to them that we stop dead in our tracks.This is essentially, what happened to me. I was stuck in the pain as many of us are.I was out of control, very upset, and crying. I remember screaming that I know that there’s this other presence inside of me just trying to get out.

I continue to say, I know that I’m supposed to feel different. I know that I’m supposed to be more than I am. I know that things aren’t supposed to be this way. I know that there’s more to us than we show. But at that time, I really didn’t understand just what is actually going on.I wasn’t in a place yet where I was ready even to try to understand the conflict I was feeling.But I also didn’t let it go. I kept trying to figure out just what was going on inside because I knew that somehow it would lift me out of this. And at that time that’s all I wanted.

It took me a while to understand what was driving me, exactly what that internal presence was. As I worked on discovering what I was feeling, I began to keep myself busy in a way away from all those things that were a cause of that pain or you can say I tried to isolate myself not only from those who were responsible for my destruction but also from my nears and dears i.e from my true self who ones loved to be cheerful,with friends and all the things that a normal person enjoys that doesn't mean I suffer from a mental disorder..lol

I was locked in a battle with ego and my authentic self or spiritual self. My authentic self wanted to escape the the hurt and the “if only” that dominated my entire life. While ego wanted to stay in charge and keep things status quo. Because that’s what ego does. One moment my authentic self or spiritual self would be in charge and I’d feel some inkling of hope. The next ego would be back in charge running the show and all I felt was deep despair.

I guess this battle will rage on for some time until I finally completely understand what is going on. I am literally stuck in the pain unable to let go of the “if only.” Once I realize this, I will surely begin looking for a way to free myself of the past(full of pain,hurt). That’s when I will discover a completely new approach to life.

Keeping in mind that this stuff won't happen overnight.This is a process and it takes as long as you choose for it to. It’s not magic it’s real discovery. Things can’t happen until you allow them to. Until you choose to make the connection with your Source and free yourself of the self-limiting beliefs that hold you back.

So if you’re ready to make and maintain a connection to your Higher Source and free yourself of the past so that you can move forward and take your life in a completely new direction you’re in the right place.Hope this helps me & you too ;)

“Lost in your heart, lost in your eyes
Lost every day, no map to follow
Entire days, weeks, a blur
Flickers of light, in the darkness,
Only to be enveloped in shadows once more”

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