Saturday, September 25, 2010
Why do we get hurt by those we love?
You know the old saying "you always hurt those you love," well why is the person that you love the most the one that causes you the most pain? emotional pain, that is.Is it because we feel that we have so much to lose? or do we just fall for the wrong person? I just don't understand this at all.Why do we allow ourselves to be put down and let down, over and over again? I'm not just speaking in defense of the women, I know plenty of men who have been hurt too and I just don't understand why we let it get to that point.
I think that one big thing that's a factor is that all too often people love other people that don't love them back. You see this in relationships all the time. They like them a lot and all that, but they don't love them. The girl may love the guy but he only likes her or visa versus. When you have that, the person that loves is opening themselves to get hurt, and sometimes hurt very badly. The reason is because the loving person's expectations of the other one is much too high, so when they let them down it's usually a shock and it hurts them deeply to be offended that way. When you truly love someone that love raises to the spiritual level because love is eternal so it's something you'll never forget. Loving someone forms a bond with them that you don't expect to be broken, so when they do something that breaks that bond and mutual trust it causes a great beak in trust. When you've trusted and cared for another person even more than yourself and have made sacrifices for them, it's a terrific let down to see them turning their backs on you. None of this happens when you don't love a person. Only a person in love can be hurt this way and this much. That's why we get hurt by the ones we love. Because that person has let you down when they've led you to believe that they loved you just as much as you loved them and that they'd always be there for you, but not they're not.
There could be many possibilities to why this happens. Generally, the ones we love the most are the ones that hurt us the most. It because we love them, care for them, trust him. Its like that saying goes.Love is giving someone your heart, an trust them not to break it. Once that trust is broken we become weak and vulnerable.
It depends on the situation .If someone has been hurt then they need time to heal. They need time to get over it, work through it, to the point of it not existing anymore. When someone gets hurt who hasn't full excepted the pain and moved on and then gets hurt once again. The same old pain that was once there gets doubled up. Some goes for relationship if you get out of one bad relationship and go right into another one with out fully getting over the pain and hurt from the previous one. then the cycle continues.
We need time, we need space, we need room to be able to let go of the people, the pain that once hurt us before we can move forward.
Love has a way of breaking our walls that we put up to protect us. Once those walls come down-we are open for pain and hurt. It sucks but that's life.