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Friday, July 11, 2008

How to Make Your Parents Love You for Who You Are

All parents have preconceived thoughts of how to raise their child and what they want their child to become as an adult. Expectations grow, and the child develops by responding to their parents upbringing. Once their child enters into the world of friends, schools and group peers, this child develops his or her own personality. Parents at times may react adversely to their child's preferences for a life style, and the child feels unloved and unhappy. This is how you can talk to your parents and let your parents know that you need their love for who you are even if that is something far different from their expectations.

Steps

  1. Have a quiet discussion with your parents. Choose a time when things are quiet and calm, and nicely ask them to hear you out. Explain that you have something to tell them, and that you would like them to listen before responding.

  2. Explain that you understand that they are having a difficult time in accepting you as you as you are, but that you are still the same person they raised and love, but now have different feelings and thoughts. Make sure they know that you love them for who they are, and in turn you need them to love and accept you for who you are. Explain that you are aware of and appreciate the love they have given while raising you, and that they are good parents.
  3. Remind them that not everyone has the same interests, desires, or makes the same choices. Tell them that although you learned much from them, you have become your own person with your own preferences and feelings. After you have finished, sit quietly and see how they react and what they have to say. If they are positive and accepting, then you have made your point. Hug them and emphasize how much you love and appreciate them. If, however, they say that they can not accept you for who you have become, just say you are sorry they feel that way.
  4. Consider your choices, which depend on your age. You either move out of the house, or remain at home. Either way, you know that you have tried to make them understand. For now however, you just have to move on with your life. In time, perhaps you will gain their acceptance and feel their love. In the meantime, be content knowing that you have tried.
  5. Don't turn your back on your parents. You cannot force them to love and accept you, but you can be loving to them.


Tips

  • Do not lose your cool.
  • Decide that you will not be offended by any hurtful remarks.
  • Do not demand they accept you, just ask them to.
  • Understand that they were brought up differently, where acceptance of differences in people were frowned upon. This is part of who they are, and you need to accept that it is difficult for them to change at this stage of their life.
  • Be patient and understanding and open to them about the changes that have occurred to you, and the inward happiness you now feel. Little by little, as they learn more, they may come to accept you. Parents really never stop loving their child, and yours have really not stopped loving you!
  • Be open to them and show them love. Help them as much as you can, and explain you will always be there for them.
  • Maybe one day the more they understand the more accepting they will become, and will love you for who you have become.


Warnings
  • Be prepared that you might not ever be accepted for who you are and understand that their nonacceptance does not mean they do not love you. Just go on with your life and be content in knowing that you tried.
  • Don't ever feel that you have to change yourself to please your parents. Just be yourself, even if you're parents don't accept who you are.


3 comments:

Anonymous said...

as good as always

saher said...

i would say...HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!!!....very well written buddy...i just hope it turns out good

Anonymous said...

very well written..keep it up moreover the about me is superb very true...