Do you feel anxious, unpleasant and generally uncomfortable in the company of people? What causes shyness and how can you overcome it? Read the article and find out how.
What is shyness? A shy person is generally uncomfortable when other people are around. He may be at ease and fully relaxed when he is alone but everything changes when he is in the company of others. As a result, he tries to avoid social interactions to escape unpleasant, even painful feelings.
But the fact remains that we are social creatures. We have been given faculties to express ourselves, to communicate our thoughts and ideas, and to live with and relate to other people. Remember “No man is an island?”
Also, the shy person is a lonely person. Children are happy when they have playmates, adults are happy in the company of friends. There is no substitute for social interaction.
So how can we overcome shyness? Here are some pointers that can help..
It is “Normal” to be Shy
One survey states that about 50% of people admit that they are shy or have been shy at one point in their lives. In a sense it is normal to be shy; otherwise we would have to conclude that only half the people on earth are on an even keel!
Did you know that some of the most successful and famous people happen to be shy? Robert Frost, Eleanor Roosevelt, Bob Dole, Barbara Walters, Johnny Carson, David Letterman, Princess Diana and many others have identified themselves as shy.
Find out the Causes of Your Shyness
Is it because of lack of wealth and social status? Then remind yourself that money isn’t everything. Just look at the litany of show biz people (supposedly wealthy and at the peak of success) whose sad lives are portrayed by the media. If friends shun you because of your social status, then they really aren’t worthy of your friendship either.
Is it because of your appearance? Then tell yourself ”Beauty is only skin deep!” Teenagers are especially conscious of their looks. My hair is a mess, my nose isn’t right, my acne is breaking out all over! This is just a phase in life and in a few short years, your body will normalize and these “troubles” will be over!
Can you now see a common pattern? The main reason for shyness is an excessive focus on the self!” I am not rich, I am not white, I am too short, I am too tall,” etc. Do you get the idea?
How to Overcome Shyness
The formula is so simple- remove the focus on yourself, redirect your focus and attention on others! Instead of trying to find out how to get more out of this life, why not concentrate on how you can give more instead? You don’t need money to do it. Being helpful, considerate, thoughtful, courteous and friendly doesn’t cost much.
When you focus on others, you forget yourself, you forget your shyness.
And if you ever feel shy or nervous don’t try to hide it. Be frank enough and admit it, the nervousness will decrease by a factor of ten. Try it!
Shyness is unpleasant and makes us unhappy. The good news is that it can be overcome. Lose yourself, focus on the needs of others and experience true happiness and freedom from social anxiety for the first time in your life!