Welcome 2011 Goodbye 2010

Looks like I’m the only one who’s not welcoming the new year but I’m glad 2010 has passed. It’s not my best year so far. I’ve had better years. In fact, I had so many heartaches and down moments during the year. No doubt, I had a few achievements like learning life lessons, luckily passed my exams too but my sadness overshadowed everything else and the reason of that sadness being?

OK, there’s no particular event that I can pinpoint to, but the feeling just accumulated, that in the end resulted in an UNFATHOMABLE BLACK HOLE in my heart…

Regardless, life is about being thankful and grateful for what we have. I can’t compare with people who’s happier, or healthier, or wealthier, but I need to compare with people who are less fortunate than myself.

So, I want to be more positive, and also try to make myself happier. So far, it’s been hard to be happy but I think I’m improving day by day. It’s a good sign approaching the new year.

Afterall Life is not wat it looks to be.We love things as if they are real and meaningful and most of all,something that will bring contentment to our lives.Life is illusion and deception.Its like a beautiful charming jewel,we move to pick it up but we realize they are the teeth of an ugly serpent..Lets not deceive ourselves..Tomorow never comes so let’s not dwell on it. Let’s continue work and pray for the best in 2011…Wish me luck.

First Snowfall In Kashmir - 30/12/2010

HAPPY SNOWFALL

° 。 ° ˛˚˛ * _Π_____*。*˚
˚ ˛ •˛•˚ */______/'＼。˚ ˚ ˛

˚ ˛ •˛• ˚ ｜ 田田 ｜門｜ ˚ ♥

Kashmir witnesses its First & Last Snowfall of the year 2010

Islamic University Of Science & Technology

The Frosty Bus Window

For Those In LOVE

Awwwwwwwwww....So Cute



Remember when I was young and so were you
and time stood still and love was all we knew
You were the first, so was I
We made love and then you cried
Remember when

Remember when we vowed the vows
and walked the walk
Gave our hearts, made the start, it was hard
We lived and learned, life threw curves
There was joy, there was hurt
Remember when

Remember when old ones died and new were born
And life was changed, disassembled, rearranged
We came together, fell apart
And broke each other's hearts
Remember when

Remember when the sound of little feet
was the music
We danced to week to week
Brought back the love, we found trust
Vowed we'd never give it up
Remember when

Remember when thirty seemed so old
Now lookn' back it's just a steppin' stone
To where we are,
Where we've been
Said we'd do it all again
Remember when
Remember when we said when we turned gray
When the children grow up and move away
We won't be sad, we'll be glad
For all the life we've had
And we'll remember when

Is Your Heart Broken?

It may be many a times,many things,many events and many people may have broken your heart.At that time you may feel a lot of pain,it may become unbearable and you may close your eyes just to tell yourself "Why me? WHY me?"

You may smile,which in fact are your tears.
You may tell,I am fine whch infact would be your latest lie!

Your heart is empty but wounds have made it scary,unpredictable and broken into a million pieces and worse still ..no one knows!
But dear this is the time when Allah can bless you.Your heart is empty and He may fill it with His guidance and His love and no LOVE is greater than Almighty's.

Just remember He knows ,He just knows whats happening to you.Allah knows everything.He is the Lord of hearts.He guides it and grants peace.For every single painful moment He forgives our sins.This is His promise.But its upto us to realize that this world cannot be faithful.It can never let you be happy.

Broken hearts are like earth-soft,torn into pieces nothing to take for itself,everythng for others.Rain comes,it becomes all the more beautiful and fresh.Such is the guidance of Allah for broken hearts.Only tender hearts learn how beautiful loving Allah is!

However,the heart must be presented with guidance and protected from hypocrisy and doubts.The Prophet(SAW) warned against their hardening!
For their are stones tat break into pieces and from whch flow rivers but there are hearts that undrstand nothing because they are dead and cant receive guidance.

A good way to keep the heart alive is remember death ,think about it for sometime.Remember Allah and shed tears in His remembrance.For tears are a characteristic of the pious heart.Only pious nd blessd hearts produce these pearls!

Rabbana La Tuzig Qulubuna Baida Iz Hadaytana
Our Lord! Let not our hearts deviate after you have guided them
Ameen...

What Hurts The Most

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok
But that's not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' It
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

Not seeing that loving you
That's what I was trying to do

Our love is like the wind. I can't see it, but I can feel.

I don't know how exactly to put all my feelings into words right now.How to laugh so loudly to vent out the cry choked in my throat.Want to say so many things but avoiding even the thought.To explain but not finding the right words even to console the wounded heart.To be with the ones I let go.To keep my eyes open so that the closed eyes don't picture the images,the moments captured in mind and heart for a lifetime.




There's a song that's inside of my soul
it's the one that I've tried to write over and over again
I'm awake in the infinite cold
but you sing to me over and over and over again

So I lay my head back down
and I lift my hands and pray to be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope

Sing to me the song of the stars
of your galaxy dancing and laughing and laughing again
when it feels like my dreams are so far
sing to me of the plans that you have for me over again

I give you my destiny
I'm giving you all of me
I want your symphony
singing in all that I am
at the top of my lungs
I'm giving it up

So I lay my head back down
and I lift my hands and pray to be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope

A New Me

Have you ever had that feeling of being unwanted?You have no idea how tough life can be.How many people are going to hurt you?People say you got to be strong, but is it that easy?

It just keeps coming back.Being hurt again and again.It hurts so badly.I just wish this could’ve never happened.I guess I’m going to be punished all through my life. I’ve made mistakes to trust and love wrong ones.It’s not so easy to figure it out why was I fooled.I just wish things could be different.Stop for once.Let me be who I used to be.I miss myself.The old pictures helps me to recognize how I used to be.No one helps you out of this you yourself have to.So it’s better to be alone nobody can hurt you then.

Dreams don’t come true.Life doesn't seem to be as your perceptions and wishes.Come on let’s be honest.I’m tired of pretending.I’m tired of lies.I’m tired of everything that's going on.I’m tired of crying.I’m just…tired.

Don’t you see how hard it is?How difficult it is to make a choice. To just start again, to pretend nothing has ever happened. In reality everything’s wrong. Fairy tales are just lies. And now I feel so stupid and mad at myself.

Mad for believing.Upset for I tried to be strong but fail.It’s like a never-ending battle where nobody is on my side.I feel lost and lonely.I used to think everything was all right.Everything was under control,I felt safe. Now that I’ve opened my eyes, I can see clearly.

I thought miracles exist.I could say it’s going to be okay, but deep inside I knew it won’t. Maybe I’m not good enough. I know I’m just another person here. Probably I’m not worth it. I look at my own reflection and I don’t like what I see.I hate the change I've undergone. I hate the new me.

I’m sick of fake people.The ones who broke me.

Empty Song

Ohh!

The feeling of the heart when empty and desolate.
How one comes then is gone to a change of a wanton new.

The past is only a memory changed by the distance of that time.
With the distance of the miles and the want gone from the heart.

How the heat of the Summer drove one to new hieghts,
Of first's and flirts and of a yearning in ones soul.
Of chats and talks of discreet and long lost words.
Of forever and never and ever so much more.

Inspiration comes from the passion that is deep inside me.
Whether good or bad the torment can rest without my words,
And the timelessness of Fall drives the passion deeper in,

Words that were said and now are waining from the mind
The words don't mean the same when one sided so it seems.
Of luv and of friends and freindship and of love,
What was , what is , and what may never be.

Yet deep inside the dream I must forever see,
That yes the distance just proves to much , way too much for me.
And when in jest the miles were made from me yet greater still
At that time I knew a heart was sent towards another

I can see the true distance was towards another's sill
And looking out my window certain truth's have not been told
The evidence of another when ours was left aside
The timing of the leaving of an entering that coincides.

When the newness of the yearning that once was there is gone,
What is left for each and every one but to hear the empty song.

Why Not Try It

In order to find love I offer you my suggestion

1.Turn off your brain and let your heart run the show.

2.Close your eyes and see with your heart.Let your heart listen not your ears.

3.Don't allow your brain to say too old,too young,too pretty,too ugly,too rich, too poor.

4.Don't allow your eyes to see only the physical beauty.Let your heart see the inner beauty,the true essence of beauty.

5.Don't allow your ears to be swayed with words dripping with honey and spoiled by lies.

6.Keep your heart open,allow love to come to you because like a butterflythe harder you chase it the farther it flies.

CRY

I'm not the type to get my heart broken
I'm not the type to get upset and cry
Cause I never leave my heart open
Never hurts me to say goodbye
Relationships don't get deep to me
Never got the whole in love thing
And someone can say they love me truly
But at the time it didn't mean a thing

My mind is gone, I'm spinning round
And deep inside, my tears I'll drown
I'm losing grip, what's happening
I stray from love, this is how I feel
This time was different
Felt like, I was just a victim
And it cut me like a knife
When you walked out of my life
Now I'm, in this condition
And I've, got all the symptoms
Of a girl with a broken heart
But no matter what you'll never see me cry

Did it happen when we first kissed?
Cause it's hurting me to let it go
Maybe 'cause we spent so much time
And I know that it's no more
I should've never let you hold me baby
Maybe why I'm sad to see us apart
I didn't give to you on purpose
Can't figure out how you stole my heart


How did I get here with you, I'll never know?
I never meant to let it get so, personal
And after all I tried to do, to stay away from loving you
I'm broken heart and I can't let you know
And I won't let it show
You won't see me cry

This time was different
Felt like, I was just a victim
And it cut me like a knife
When you walked out of my life
Now I'm, in this condition
And I've, got all the symptoms
Of a girl with a broken heart
But no matter what you'll never see me cry

All my life...

AIDS.....Lets Fight It

1st December 2010 Worlds AIDS Day.....RECITATION OF POEM at IUST

Out of the darkness without any test,
A heavy burden was laid on our chests.
Where this disease came from, no one is sure,
All we know is that there is no cure.
It takes all lives, not only people who are gay,
The human life is the highest price to pay.
Young and old are dying all around,
Look at the people in your own towns.
We cry for help in so many ways,
But more lives are being lost every day.
There are drugs to ease the pain,
They don't work; the government gets the capital gains.
Your body, ready to go off at any day,
Hoping a cure would be found some way.
How many cries will it take to hear?
When someone you know has it, and their time is near.
It is something that we can no longer ignore,
Because it is coming closer, it might be next door.
So don't think that you can't get this disease called "AIDS",
More people then you think have it, they just won't say.
Wake up! We are dying and dropping like flies,
Don't wait until the human race is gone,
And then ask WHY?

A Letter from Mom and Dad....

My child,

When I get old, I hope you understand and have patience with me
In case I break the plate, or spill soup on the table because I’m losing my eyesight, I hope you don’t yell at me.
Older people are sensitive, always having selfpity when you yell.
When my hearing gets worse and I can’t hear what you’re saying, I hope you don’t call me ‘Deaf!’
Please repeat what you said or write it down.

I’m sorry, my child.
I’m getting older.
When my knees get weaker, I hope you have the patience to help me get up.
Like how I used to help you while you were little, learning how to walk.
Please bear with me, when I keep repeating myself like a broken record, I hope you just keep listening to me.
Please don’t make fun of me, or get sick of listening to me.

Do you remember when you were little and you wanted a ballon? You repeated yourself over and over until you get what you wanted.
Please also pardon my smell. I smell like an old person.Please don’t force me to shower.
My body is weak.
Old peoople get sick easily when they’re cold. I hope I don’t gross you out.

Do you remember when you were little? I used to chase you around because you didn’t want to shower.
I hope you can be patient with me when I’m always cranky. It’s all part of getting old.
You’ll understand when you’re older.
And if you have spare time, I hope we can talk even for a few minutes.
I’m always all by myself all the time, and have no one to talk to.
I know you’re busy with work.
Even if you’re not interested in my stories, please have time for me.

Do you remember when you were little? I used to listen to your stories about your teddy bear.
When the time comes, and I get ill and bedridden, I hope you have the patience to take care of me.
I’m sorry if I accidentally wet the bed or make a mess.
I hope you have the patience to take care of me during the last few moments of my life.
I’m not going to last much longer, anyway.
When the time of my death comes, I hope you hold my hand and give me strength to face death.

And don’t worry..
When I finally meet our creator, I will whisper in his ear to bless you. Because you loved your Mom and Dad.
Thankyou so much for your care.
We love you.

Think of yourself as the rule, not the exception

I'm not always as confident as I seem.There are many nights and many days when all I want is to be held. I love being held...Always.

Sometimes I don't want to talk about what is bothering me.Sometimes I just want a hug.Sometimes I just want to lay on my bedroom floor, drown myself in music and cry. Sometimes I just want to leave behind everything. Sometimes I just want to runaway, and never come back. Sometimes I just want to run up to you. Sometimes I just want to slap you so hard. Sometimes I just want to tell you what I really think of you. Sometimes I just want to be alone. Sometimes I just want to eat ice cream and watch sappy romances all day long. Sometimes I just want to escape reality. Sometimes I just want to know how it feels like to have a true person falling in love with your smile. Sometimes I just want to get the hell out of this place. Sometimes I just want to wear and say what I want, without being judged. Sometimes I just want to be perfect in front of your eyes. Sometimes I just want to give up. Sometimes I just want to run. Sometimes I just want to be in your shoes. Sometimes I just want to feel like I’m on top of the world. Sometimes I just want to wish for a better tomorrow. Sometimes I just want to let go. Sometimes I just want to know if you really miss me.
But I know that sometimes, you don’t always get what you want and that is when I need someone who will let me cry.

I like when people aren't afraid to show what they're really feeling. I don't like when people run from their true feelings because it doesn't do anyone any good. I wear my heart on my sleeve, but I am not naive. I know what it feels like to be completely broken and I am all too familiar with what it means to be hurt. I know what it's like to see something funny and not laugh. I've been taken advantage of, used, and abused. My feelings have been blatantly disregarded. But I still believe that all people are good at heart and my trust in people has not diminished. To be completely honest, I hope it never does...Ever.